All material posted here is the original property of Lady R, author of this blog, unless linked from another source or otherwise noted. All material and photos not to be reprinted without permission.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Well, here it is! My final post in the Bike Fest series. Bringing my weekend adventure to an end is a little bitter sweet, but I couldn't just share all the GOOD and the BAD, without bringing you a little bit of the UGLY! I hope I don't offend anyone, but if I do, well... goodbye.

Do you remember that favorite thing your mom yells at you when you were a kid, running around in the yard crazy, playing and screaming and stuff? She'll say, "Stop running around with that, you'll poke your eye out!" It didn't matter what we had in our hand, it was going to poke our eyes out. Well, I saw something sooooo UGLY, I wish my eye was poked out! Joker, I think this guy read your comment about riding through Holt in the Duo Glide, with nothing but the chaps. OMG! Someone should have told him the 'just kidding' part! I had to do a double take! On his ass, someone wrote "TIP ME". I wanted to go up to him and say, "Here's a tip for ya. I'd run before those six big guys over there decides who gets you first!" He must have been doing this as a dare. I sure would hate to think another fellow biker thinks this is pretty!

You know, it's really UGLY when you lose your girlfriend! Our buddy, the Lone Ranger, was all set with his date for the weekend, when something terrible happened. She turned up missing! We looked all over the campsite for her and couldn't find her anywhere. We asked everyone we talked to, to let us know if they see her. After looking through the track and vendor area, we decided she was nowhere to be found. He was very sad and heartbroken over her, but decided, what the hell! This is Bike Fest! So we popped some Bud Lights and drank to a hopeful future!

Well, as it turned out, we found the Lone Ranger's girlfriend later that night. Here she was, all strapped up on some other dude's cart, riding on the front like the shameless hussy she was! Now how UGLY is that, to see your girlfriend hangin' out all over the place for everyone else to see! Tsk, tsk, tsk. The Lone Ranger rides alone once again.

It's all about fun! Probably everyone here, came with the intent to have a great weekend, share their love for motorcycles, and take home some sweet memories. That's why it's a sad note when the weekend is marred by an accident. Saturday afternoon, a couple turned their ATV over and were hurt pretty bad. Apparently, they were riding around a corner too fast, and it rolled. They had to be air lifted out by Gulf Flight. It's an UGLY scene, when something like this occurs.

And just one more big UGLY! This is for all the ladies out there. Don't be fooled that a nice smile and a charming personality will keep you out of trouble! I made the mistake of coming between a man and his titties and I thought all hell was gonna break loose! It was really very innocent at how it all happened. I made myself real little and squoze up to sneak in near the front, to get some pics of the Bull Ride. ( I had my blogger pals in mind, here!) Well, after snapping a few shots, still scrunched down, I turned around and was going to squeeze myself back out. Some big guy twice my size stepped in my way and said, "Hell no! You stepped all over me to get up here, your only way out is through there!" This isn't exactly what happened, but anyway, as he was saying this, he was pointing over my shoulder behind me. I turned around to verify what I knew I was going to see, and yep! Nothing but the ring and that nasty ass bull, with who knows how many nasty asses have already been on it. Well, I really thought he was just messing with me, and when I realized he was genuinely pissed, I got a bit nervous. He stepped into my path three or four times, determined not to let me out of the crowd. I finally told him, "We can two step all night, but if I'm not back out by that cart in about two minutes, I'll have three or so dude's looking for me. I got by. When I got back to the cart, I told Harley what had happened, and he said I should have had my tazer on me. Silly me, I thought I was at a party! So ladies, hear what I am saying. We need to be ever mindful of our situation at all times. Our world does have some UGLY going on, and if we stay smart and observant, we'll always be one step ahead of the rest.

I hope you have enjoyed my Bike Fest series...the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY. I had fun putting it all together, but probably more fun collecting the data. Harley and I have been busy, so I have many more nice posts to come. Ride on! Lady R


B.B. said...

Thanks Lady R for risking life and limb to get our pics. But seriously, that sounds pretty scary, glad it turned out okay.

I can't even come up with words to comment on that poor fool in the chaps. Oh my. I hope he was on drugs.

Tell Lone Ranger I'm sorry about his skank girlfriend. Hope she didn't leave him for the ass guy.

Thanks for the great posts on your trip. :)

"Joker" said...

I don't quite know whether to start with LOL or EEeeeWwwww!

Yep, it sure takes all kinds at a rally. If I drank about 16 beers in one afternoon, I'd probably have the stones to walk around like that. Man that was narly! I can't even imagine what the front was like - probably looked like someone squashed a spider on top of a mushroom cap!

I have zero respect for any man who tries to strong-arm a lady, under any circumstances. I'm glad you got away from him without a problem, and that it didn't ruin the event for you.

Thanks for sacrificing all in the name of pics for us, and I'm glad you got home safe.

Dean "D-Day" said...

Almost every rally I have been to, there's been some drunk dork running around with chaps on but no pants on. DON'T DO THIS! THIS IS NOT A GOOD LOOK! Unless you're in the bedroom or on a stage waiting for women to stuff your G-string with dollar bills, this is never an attractive look!

Anyway, thanks for taking us along Lady-R. These types of gatherings are usually a blast. Sounds like this one was no exception.

Ann said...

Wow! I think this was my favorite post of the series! :)

Men in chaps are only good if they have jeans on...and nothing written on their asses! LOL!

Looks like it was a great rally, and you really need to be careful, LadyR! Carry your taser or pepper spray at all times!

Dean "D-Day" said...

Yeah, carry your tazer. I would have loved seeing a picture of that guy flopping around on the ground like a fish just after you zapped him.

-Connie said...

I love these!!! That guy in the chaps and no pants is awesome/gross! Glad you got away from that guy without a problem!

I agree with Ann that this is my favorite of the series!

Lady R (Di) said...

BB... that skanky bitch was all over that campsite. She wasn't nothing but a Ho!

Joker, Dean and Ann...Chappy boy had on a gold silk g-string, like male dancers wear. Yes, I looked! (Gag) Trust me, he had no more business wearing that, as he did the chaps with no pants! This may have looked good under one circumstance, if everyone else was drunk as hell! Even then, I think it would be questionable.

Everyone...The crazy dude under the Bull tent actually came out and talked to Harley a minute. Maybe he saw me tell the tale to Harley and my three buddies. He said, "I think your wife's mad at me." Harley told him, "If you did what she said you did, I'd be mad at you too!" He was wanting to make sure we were alright with him. He's just lucky I didn't have my Cheetah Stun tazer with me, or he would have had some fried balls for sure!

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Great post, UGLY, funny, and scary. Glad you are O.K.!

Maggie said...

Thanks LadyR, you were nicer than me. He would be still digging his balls out of his throat.. I hate dillholes.

You needed Crusty's fiberglass knife;)

But that was awful nice of you to risk life and limb for us!

Men look hot in chaps when jeans are ON! Who wants to look at this dudes hairy ass all night long? Ewwww eye bleach!!

FLHX_Dave said...

OH HELL NO! That's just wrong. You tell Lone Ranger that if he ever talks to that airhead again I am going to lose all respect for him. About as much respect I lost for the dude in the chaps. Well, at least he shaved his ass. I think I would have rather seen Joker's ass come to think of it.

Here, next time a a-hole starts crap with you, just start screaming "stop! your violating your restraining order! help! don't hit me again!" That dude will be overcooked quaker oats before he even knows what happened.

lol, thanks for sharing the experience. It was good, bad and ugly...but all fun!

"Joker" said...

Not a hair on it, looks the same as it did when I was 18. It might be too much of a shock for you Dave, you'd better let Bec do the looking and she can translate for you!

B.B. said...

Dave & Joker- you two make me laugh. I have come up with two theories about you
1) you are long lost brothers.
2) you are really the same person living a double life.
Either way, I can always count on you two for a laugh. Thanks.

Ronman said...

LadyR thanks for the great post. Man I'm glad you didn't get hurt from the shit dick who was a bad ass to a woman. I think you could take him anyway.


Lady R (Di) said...

Dave... I agree with you. I think Joker would win that beauty contest, hands down. Don't worry about the Lone Ranger, he said he had all of her he wanted anyway! LOL!
Thanks for the restraining tip. That would sure stir the pot, wouldn't it?

Joker...LOL! I can only imagine what would happen if you and Dave didn't have the entire country separating you two. Look out!

B.B....At least you only have one to deal with!

Ronman...He was a dick! But, when a man's been drinking, and you make him mad, the best thing to do is disappear!