GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS... A TALE OF BLIZZARDS, PUPPY LOVE AND BROWN SPOTS IN THE GRASS

Going home for Christmas!

For the last 30 something years, that expression has brought it's share of joy, excitement, anticipation and stress!  Don't get me wrong... I love Christmas, and I love going home... but when the two events are happening simultaneously, the stress meter definitely gets a bit of a work out.  Making sure you have everything you need for the trip, as well as not forgetting anybody's Christmas... well, you get my drift.

And speaking of drifts, the news of our heartland being under heavy snow and blizzard conditions, makes me drift back in time to another "going home for Christmas" trip... a trip that left scars and will live in our minds forever!

It was the Christmas of  1981. Harley and I had just bought our first new car as a married couple and we thought we were the shit.  A silver 1980 Datsun 200 SX. We might have been married, but we still wanted to hold on to some cool factor, and that quick little 5 speed fed our need for play. The only trouble with our awesome SX is, it was a bit small when it came to loading up the family... with all our luggage.

Our "family" during that time, consisted of us and two English Shepherds, Molly and Keiva. They were male and female litter mates and each weighed in at about 75 and 90 lbs. respectively.  Not the largest shepherds we've ever had, but when you're putting them in the back seat of a small compact car, they seemed much larger. Complicate that arrangement with a 16 hour drive, that turned into a 24 hour nightmare during blizzard conditions... well, hold on a minute... it gets worse.

The very morning we were to leave, I noticed a small blood spot on Molly's leg and wondered what she had done to hurt herself.  After looking her over, I was baffled, until I noticed that she kept licking herself.  Looking under her belly, I discovered her "love spot" was swollen and... YEP! You guessed it... she just went into "heat".  Yay us!!  Now what?  We've heard of doggie diapers so we decided to stop by the pet store on our way out of town to see if this would help our situation. Our biggest thought at that moment was how we were going to keep her from making a mess out of our new car! I mean come on...  really??

After procuring some diapers, we headed north to Iowa.  We thought the problem was solved, but unfortunately, Keiva had other plans. Dogs don't care if you're their sister. I could see it in his eyes. He was thinking it was his duty...  if you're ready to f*#k, than by golly Miss Molly,  I'm ready to oblige ya!!

So went the circling... and the panting... and the hunching... and the scolding... all while in the confines of the small compact back seat of the Datsun.  I kept thinking that we need to hurry up and get there so we can let these poor creatures out of this tiny little cage. Molly kept giving Keiva those sideways glances as she kept her "love spot" planted firmly to the seat, all while he was trying to persuade her to do otherwise. He hunched and hunched, to the point that I was afraid the poor dog was going to throw his back out before we could get him out of this car!

In addition to enduring the backseat ballet, the further north we got, the more volatile the weather became.  We've been warned that there may be a storm during our drive up, but we figured as long we stayed on the interstate, we should be pretty good.  About the time we turned west onto I-75 in Indianapolis, the snow and ice storm made driving extremely difficult and dangerous. We trekked on, but the speedometer never went over 30 mph, taking us over 5 hours to travel 150 miles.  We noticed that most vehicles we encountered were either creeping along like us, or hanging off the edge of the road, having slipped into the loose stuff enough to remain trapped there. In spite of all that... we continued on.

Stopping to stretch legs and pee became something of an event also.  The first time the dogs hopped out of the car and there was snow on the ground, you would have thought their paws were on fire.  Picking up their feet and prancing around trying to figure how to move about without stepping in this very strange new stuff, was a comical site indeed.  Every time Molly squatted to pee, (yes... the snow was deep!) she stood back up and kept searching for a clear spot.  (I guess if I sat my "love spot" in the snow, it would give me a start also).  Eventually, she figured out that if you dribble just a little bit out, you can melt a hole in the snow, which then allowed her to squat all the way down and finish her business. Smart girl!

We got to mom and dad's house much later than expected, but we made it safe and sound.  After preparing a nice comfy place in the basement for the pups, (separated!) we officially commenced our Christmas holiday.  The dogs got used to, and actually enjoyed playing in the snow and Molly's "condition" eventually waned.  Everything seemed to settle down, but as all good vacations go, it was over too quick.   Before you knew it, we were headed back south  Our very large family... in our little compact car.

We made it back to our southern home without issue.  The weather stayed good and thank God, we didn't deliver any puppies in February. Time passed and it wasn't until Spring came along before our Christmas trip to Iowa came back up as a hot topic of conversation. My dad was pissed! It seems, during our stay, Keiva (and Molly) left him many large presents in his yard.  I guess when a big dog drops a turd bomb (or pees a lake the size of Erie) onto frozen ground, it freezes and stays there until Spring.  When April came around and thawed out dad's yard, it was laden with very large brown dead spots, a sure result of lots and lots of Keiva bombs! Oh my!

About three seasons later, his bare spots filled in and his yard finally started to look nice again. He eventually saw the humor in Keiva's fertilization efforts, but the "NO VACANCY" sign went up for puppies, and never came back down. I'm sure if he were here today, he'd have something funny to say about it, and he really did love his Granddogs... as long as they stayed home!

So many Christmases have come and gone now, and there have been many trips back home share them. Today our family consists of two small dogs, referred to as "the boys", and a trio of felines.  My moms thinks they're pretty good little guys, so she's decided it was time to take down the "NO VACANCY" sign and welcome them home for Christmas.  Yay us!

Bandit and Joker are as excited as two little kids in a candy store. They're going home for Christmas and can't wait to go see Grandma!  We have since learned many valuable lessons in regards to traveling with animals, and we tried to make life easier with our downsized "family".  Little dogs equals little turds and trust me when I say... we'll have plenty of potty pads.

Merry Christmas everybody! Have a great holiday!

Lady R

Flat Wooley Travels: SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

Seems I'm going to be entertaining a new friend over the next few days. Check it out!

Flat Wooley Travels: SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

Let the games begin! Muwahahahahahaha!!

Lady R

AIRPORT FUN AND MY BIRDS EYE VIEW

I love to travel, and I love taking advantage of any chance I get to ride my Glide and enjoy this beautiful country I call home. Riding my motorcycle on the open road is probably my favorite way to get from point A to point B, but due to my limited time off work, I sometimes have to chose an alternative mode of transportation. Now and then, you find yourself with too many miles to go and not enough time to get there, so enter into the equation a very expensive, and probably the most stressful mode of travel... flying!

Don't get me wrong! I love to fly! I am just usually doing it on two wheels! LOL! However, the airports can provide some of the most unusual experiences and allow you a peek a boo view of our world's most interesting individuals. Simply put, I call it "People Watching". While on my trip to Billings, Montana for Thanksgiving, here are a few of my most memorable observations.

Person # 1... Funny Man. Youngish college age dude, clean cut, dark framed glasses, carrying one back pack and very involved in reading his book. This guy seemed harmless enough, and with the shortage of open seats in the gate waiting area, I chose to sit next to F.M. Within two minutes, I noticed he would giggle every now and then and mutter some comment. I thought to myself, "Hmmm, his book must be pretty good." This would not have been so bad, but he began to lose track of the fact, that he was in a crowded area full of strangers, because he began to outwardly laugh and giggle, while talking to himself. I noticed some people were looking at me as well, wondering if the close proximity of our seats meant that I was with him. I chose to ignore their questioning glances and kept my head down while I tried very nonchalantly to see the title of this powerful book of giggles and self conversation. Have any of you heard of "Are you there, Vodka? It's me, Chelsea" Hmmmm. Very interesting, funny man.

Person # 2... Iron Legs. Beautiful tall model like woman, walking at pace with the best of us, wearing... stiletto heeled fashion boots! With absolutely no exaggeration, these heels must have been at least 5 inches! We're talking tippy toe walking here folks! I would not have been able to take five steps, while holding a walker, in this pair of beautiful boots, and here this chick is, kicking it down the concourse hallway like there was no tomorrow! I was in complete awe of the woman with iron legs.

Person # 3... Dog Boy. I really feel sorry for the parents that have to put a leash on their kids. I understand that this is for their own safety, because my mom had to put a leash on me when I was a wee tot. (Hmmm. This explains a few things, heh?) The looks these parents have to endure from other non understanding folks, is really nothing compared to the grief they may feel if something terrible happens to an uncontrollable child who runs off from you. While walking down the concourse hallway, I came upon such a family, waiting off to the side for their plane to start boarding. The young boy was having a good time with his tethered predicament, because he was jumping around with his tongue hanging out, and barking and yipping like a real dog. His parents didn't seem to care, as long as he didn't pull too hard, they just let him play. He stopped jumping long enough to notice me when I walked next to him, and gave me a quick smile and a pant or two. I decided to get into my inner child at that moment and gave him a playful bark in response. After, his eyes widened for a moment, he recovered quickly with an out loud giggle and we just laughed at each other as I continued past them. Nice puppy.

During a 2 hour layover in the Denver, CO airport, I discovered this Harley Davidson retail store while I was walking around. Of course I had to take a quick little look see. The first few shirts I saw had price tags on them that would have made you drop your teeth if you could. A simple T-shirt had $98.00 on it, while another one with a little more detail went for $135.00. Geez! As I meandered through the store, the very friendly clerk struck up a conversation with me. Come to find out, the three large boxes she was working out of, were all on sale. Hmmm? "Yes", she said, "just look through them. They're all $15.00 and $20.00." Jackpot! I of course found a couple of shirts to add to my bag for Harley and myself. I was very pleased with myself when I walked out of there not spending more than $35.00 and had TWO shirts! Woo Hoo!

In addition to the colorful array of people you see, and the lucky shopping stop, trying to keep up with the accurate time was another challenge. I went from Mountain time, to Eastern time, to Central time, all in an 8 hour period of time. Of course, this allows for more weirdness. Where else can you get a full Mexican meal, complete with rice and beans at 5:00 in the morning. Not only that, you can have a beer with that, or for you hard dogs... whiskey and rum is yours for the purchase! Airports are great!

I hope you forgive me for the quality of the pictures, but I tried to get some shots while I was high in the sky. I wasn't near the window much, except during my flight from Denver into Billings. I had a birds eye view.
It was really cool to watch the terrain change from flat and quilt like, to the early ripples of earth that would soon turn into mountains.
In my imagination, these clouds resembled the ocean waves breaking on a sandy surf. I thought it was kind of neat how one part of nature can mimic another part.
After all my fun flying the friendly skies, I felt like a stone skipping across the top of the water, bouncing from one airport to another. From Atlanta, to Chicago, to Denver, to Billings, then back via Billings, to Denver, to Atlanta. Not to mention, I have a two and a half hour drive between Montgomery and Atlanta, where I started all my airport fun. I appreciated the bird's eye view I had and remain amazed at the beauty our country holds.

Taking it to the road on two wheels still gives me the enjoyment and pleasure that cannot be matched, even by the view of a bird. I'm sure I'll travel by plane again, and have a little fun playing my "people watching" game. But in the mean time, riding my Glide still remains my favorite mode of travel.

Lady R