FRIDAY FUNNY - I CAN'T REMEMBER!

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Why are you crying?"

She continued, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies too.  Then he makes love to me for half the afternoon."

Again I wondered, "Well then, why are you crying?"

She just kept on rambling, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."

Totally confused by now, I asked one more time, "Why in the world would you be crying?"

She looked up at me through her tearful eyes and said...

"I can't remember where I live!"

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE SHARING OF MARRIAGE

The sharing of marriage....

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the french fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip, and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering. Obviously they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

The man continued to eat from his small portion of fries when a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine, and they were used to sharing everything. People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, "No thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered...

"THE TEETH."

FRIDAY FUNNY - AN OLD PEOPLE LOVE STORY

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. 

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays a sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."  

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry...
How soon can I go home?"

FRIDAY FUNNY - "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved... I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money... fifty thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

But Sally replied, "Finders keepers."

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No".

Andy chimed in and said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally responded, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile".

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said, "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy started to explain, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here!"

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU SENILE SENIORS!!