FRIDAY FUNNY - THE DRUNK

THE DRUNK

This guy was sitting at a table in a bar and was about as drunk as it's possible to get. A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home.

First they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.  He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud.

After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door. 

His wife comes to the door, and one guy grinning says, "We brought your husband home."

The wife looks around and asks...

"Where's his wheelchair?


I wonder if his name was Bernie?

Lady R

NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

My good pal Darlin' sent me a funny email the other day. I decided it was too good not to share.

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status..

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied...


"Cause you're ugly."

Have a nice day!

Lady R

THE BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH

My good friend EM sent me this funny story, and since SOME of you out there didn't fully appreciate my pole dancer from Angel City, I figured I would offer my apologies with the best drunk story of the month. I'm still working on my rally post, but this is just too funny not to share. Enjoy!

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest biker in the face and says...

"I went to your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says...

"I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says...

"I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says...

"GRANDPA...... GO HOME!!"

You see... dirty old men need love too!

Have a nice Wednesday everybody!

Lady R