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Friday, August 26, 2011


A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as he stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter....

... this is a herd of sheep."
"Now give me back my dog."


irondad said...

Dang! I wear Ray Ban sunglasses. But I think I can tell the difference between a dog, a sheep, and a cow. Which one has the horns, again?

Rhonda said...

If he worked for Obama he would have been happier with the sheep.... I love your Friday funnies!

Kathleen Jennette said...

Damn good thing there weren't any Buffalos around! Funny funnies!

Billy Jones said...

"Damn good thing there weren't any Buffalos around!"

Or mountain lions!

Lady R (Di) said...

Irondad... "which one has horns again?" Reminds me of a cute situation that happened a long long time ago. My niece pointed to an older goat (sporting a larger set of horns) while we were at a petting zoo, and she said very loudly... "That one over there is really horny!" Yes, I laughed and so did most of the other "grown ups" who overheard.

Rhonda... lol! I'm glad you can stop by for a quick giggle. It's always better to start a weekend in good humor.

KT... I'd like to see him stuff a buffalo in his car! :O

Billy Jones... or tigers and bears either... oh my!!!

Webster World said...

Rhonda won for best respones!

WooleyBugger said...

This one was priceless.