FRIDAY FUNNY - THE DOG FOOD DIET

Yesterday, I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn't have a dog but I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I told her that it was a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Watch what you ask retired people... they have all the time in the world.