FRIDAY FUNNY - LONG RIDE

I'm sorry if you've already seen this, but it's worth sharing... again.

So?

Have a great weekend everybody!

Lady R (Di)

PIC OF THE WEEK - MUD FUN!!

We took the Jeep to a 4-wheeler's playground Saturday called Bogs and Boulders.  It's over 1000 acres of trails of various terrain for all types of riding located in Brooklyn, AL.

Flat dirt trails, mud trails, boggs flats, rock hills... and on and on.  We went to explore and we think it might be worth a return visit.  Harley and I kept eyeballing the different ATV's we saw... Hmmmm.  After an hour in this park, we started feeling like the Goliath among the ants. Our Jeep was a little too big for some of the trails but we got to see most of it. 

MUD FUN!

Taking turns slingin' mud

"Wait... I'm dropping my beer!"

"Hang on darlin', get ready to swoop!"

"I wanna go... I wanna go!!"

One thing I noticed... nobody was wearing helmets and everybody had beer in their hands! Could get real interesting around here about dark thirty.

Hope everybody had a good weekend... no have a great week at work. Yeah... I said it.

Lady R (Di)

FRIDAY FUNNY - GETTING YOUR "AFFAIRS" IN ORDER!

You've all heard the expression... "getting your affairs in order."  Well, here are a couple of humorous examples of some who did exactly that! 

AFFAIR #1...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they went to her place and made love all afternoon.  Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 p.m.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes and rub them in the grass and dirt.  He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

She looked down at his shoes and said. "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"


AFFAIR #2...
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.  They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.  The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.  He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.  Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!  Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "No, not this time!"


AFFAIR #3...
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."  She rubbed baby oil all over him then dusted him with talcum powder.  "Don't move until I tell you," she said, "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's a statue," she replied, "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so I got one for us too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.  Around 2 a.m., the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this.  I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."


AFFAIR #4...
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One cent?" the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" the surprised man said.  "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender answered, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."


(Saving the best for last...)

AFFAIR #5...
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess..."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she replied, "Now just rest and let the poison work."

 

 

PIC OF THE WEEK - SPRING HAS SPRUNG!

It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood! Enjoy!

 

 

Spring is everywhere! Have great week everybody!

Lady R (Di)

FRIDAY FUNNY - LITTLE WHITE LIE

Have you ever told a white lie?

Alice was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Montgomery, but forgot to do it until the last minute.  She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through her cabinets, found an angel food cake mix.  She quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for scout camp.

When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured.  She exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" 

So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.  She found it in the bathroom – a roll of toilet paper!  She plunked it in the center and then covered it with icing.  Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.  Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money.  She also gave her specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home. 

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified; she was beside herself! Everyone would know!  What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed!

All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would not think about the cake anymore and attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She didn’t really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Montgomery.  But having already RSVP'd, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home. 

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south, and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!  Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! 

She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" 

Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) declare, "Thank you, I baked it myself!" 

Alice smiled and thought to herself…

 

GOD IS GOOD!

 

PATIENTLY WAITING FOR SPRING CONTEST - WITH TROBAIRITZ

Sometimes blogging is just fun! Like today!

Brandy over at Trobiaritz' Tablet started a fun little viral game called... "Patiently Waiting For Spring" Contest.  All you have to do is take a self portrait with your webcam or face app, and post it! Add some unique effects to reflect your style and, there you have it!  You can check out her blog to follow some of the other happy, animated contestants.

Here's mine. I decided to go Warhol on ya...

Me, myself and I's

 Even though my temps are averaging 75 degrees now, I still thought it would be fun to participate.

BTW... check out my post from yesterday.  Another contest!! lol!!

Have a great day everybody! 

Lady R (Di)

FLASH FICTION FUN

I'm probably a glutton for punishment, but I submitted another entry in the Indies Unlimited Flash Fiction Contest. I'm not really sure why I like participating in these fun exercises other than they give me a chance to sharpen my fictional imagination. I'm working on something that will probably take quite a while to feel like I'm making any progress, so taking on a short project like these contests are like recess for the regimented.

This week's contest was titled, "The Last Season".    

Photo by K. S. Brooks

This is the picture they show you to incorporate into your story... in 250 words or less.

They also provide a few lines to kick start your outline...
"This will be the last season for the old lodge. Jess is getting on in years. The money from the developers must have been mighty tempting, too.
There is another reason Jess decided after all these years to sell that lodge—and a reason he’ll be leaving soon afterward. There is something no one else knows yet."

In the spirit of encouragement, please follow the link below to read and vote for your favorite entry.

Week 11 Flash Fiction Contest Voting/Indies Unlimited

Give yourself a treat and go read some Flash! It's interesting and fun to see the diverse writing styles and different ideas when reading the contest submissions.

Having fun with fiction,
Lady R (Di)

PIC OF THE WEEK - BUTIA CAPITATA (PINDO PALM) AND THE OLD SENTRY

I've been holding on to a couple of awesome pictures of two really cool trees. Not just any trees mind you, but these two particular trees are very unusual and historical.  During one of my many visits to Panama City (my home away from home!) my friend and I took a ride down along St. Andrews Bay where these two mighty giants stood. I always knew I would be sharing them with you one day... so how about today.

BUTIA CAPITATA (PINDO PALM)

 The posted sign reads:

"This rare four headed palm, the only one of its kind known in the world, is dedicated to the people of Panama City.  It was relocated from the city’s water treatment facility on May 3^rd, 1997. This was made possible by: City of Panama City/Department Leisure Services International Palm Society (Gulf Coast Chapter), Robert Reinheimer (coordinator/harvester), Deep South Crane, Kurt Schmidt (fabricator), City of Panama City Utility Dept., Panama City Rentals."

THE OLD SENTRY

 This heritage oak tree is estimated to be over 250 years old.  It was standing during the war between the states as if a sentry standing guard over old St. Andrews Bay. (If you were to walk past this tree to the fence, you would be looking out over the bay.)

 Standing underneath it and looking up gave you an amazing view of the fern life growing right out of the trunks.

Can you just imagine the history these two old trees have seen?  Especially the Old Sentry.  I wonder how many Civil War soldiers sat underneath that old tree and took a nap, or ate some chow.  Pretty neat if you ask me!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R (Di)

FRIDAY FUNNY - I DON'T FEEL SO STUPID ANYMORE!

My FIL has a really great sense of humor and sends me some pretty comical emails from time to time. I'm very appreciative of them, because they can help a bad day get better and they always make me smile.  Today's funny is a collection of pictures that just seem to say it all for me. We'll call this pictorial series...

I DON'T FEEL SO STUPID ANYMORE!

Rinsing the rain off...

Hmmm... I hope I didn't forget anything.

Harry... have you seen my purse?

Better than any tie-downs I've seen! You go dude!!

Uh... I think if we tie it off here...

Last but certainly not least...

Bless her heart...

Shew... I'm exhausted! I didn't realize how tiresome LMAO can be!

Have a great weekend  everybody...

Lady R (Di)

PIC OF THE WEEK - HAZARDOUS WATERS

Harley and I always found ourselves gravitating to the lakes and rivers when we rode our motorcycles around Alabama.  His granddaddy had lake house with a marina on Lay Lake in Shelby County and it was fun to go back to that area and look at all the changes and improvements that took place over the years. We often made our way to the dam as a rest stop and watched the fishermen.  This day produced some very brave folks as they maneuvered their little boats as close as they could for the best catch.

HAZARDOUS WATERS

 

 If you look very closely, where the red brick of the building join with the dam walls, you'll see a small boat with some fishermen... standing!  Okay... I'll blow it up for you.
  
VERY BRAVE FISHERMEN!

 I was nervous just watching them!  I decided right then and there, I would rather be riding a motorcycle on the road than manning that boat in these waters!

LAY DAM- SHELBY COUNTY, ALABAMA

I love to fish, but I think I'll stick to the bank... the water seems much calmer in this shot.

Have a nice week everybody!

Lady R (Di)

FRIDAY FUNNY - FIVE SURGEONS ON SURGERY

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on...

The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 

The second, from Chicago responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in with, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."  

The fourth surgeon, from San Francisco chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over." 

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed; "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine.  Plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable!" 

 

Have great weekend everybody!

Lady R (Di)