Author's note: This is such an oldie... but still a goodie! Have a great weekend everybody!
The Knob
A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob". A knob could be surgically placed at the top of the woman's head, yet small enough to hide under her hair. It could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob".
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
She said, "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems."
"First", she continued, "I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid
of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those
aren't bags... those are your breasts."
A grave look of disappointment came over her face and she said...
"Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."
TALLADEGA SCENIC HIGHWAY ON MT. CHEAHA ~ ALABAMA ~ photo taken by Dianna Stover
All material posted here is the original property of Lady R, author of this blog, unless linked from another source or otherwise noted. All material and photos not to be reprinted without permission.
Friday, September 30, 2011
FRIDAY FUNNY - THE KNOB
Monday, September 26, 2011
PIC OF THE WEEK - BANDIT AND JOKER
We have two little guys (Papillions) at home who like the fact the we have a Jeep now. Before, it was all about staying behind and minding the kitties, while Harley and I went out and played on the Glides. But now, all that has changed and they have been going with us when we take off for a day of exploration.
BANDIT
Bandit looks as though he's giving me the "Hurry up mom, we've places to go and sites to see!"
JOKER
"I'm... too sexy for my ears... too sexy for my hair... uh huh."
I use a small insulated bag to pack some treats, their leashes, a water bowl and some water. Believe me... they get very excited when they see me "gathering" their things.
They love going with us these days, but by the time we get close to home...
... they're usually like this. ZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz...
Have a great week everybody!!
Lady R
BANDIT
Bandit looks as though he's giving me the "Hurry up mom, we've places to go and sites to see!"
JOKER
"I'm... too sexy for my ears... too sexy for my hair... uh huh."
I use a small insulated bag to pack some treats, their leashes, a water bowl and some water. Believe me... they get very excited when they see me "gathering" their things.
They love going with us these days, but by the time we get close to home...
... they're usually like this. ZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz...
Have a great week everybody!!
Lady R
Friday, September 23, 2011
FRIDAY FUNNY - HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD
(True Story)
George Phillips, an elderly man from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both and the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!
George Phillips, an elderly man from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both and the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!
Labels:
funny medicine,
humor,
joke,
policeman,
s.w.a.t.
Monday, September 19, 2011
PIC OF THE WEEK - LITTLE RIVER CANYON... AGAIN
We took the Jeep up to north Alabama during Labor Day and revisited some of our favorite riding roads. I know I've posted pictures of the Little River Canyon before, but I just can't help myself. Hwy. 176 in DeKalb County is not just a great road to ride on, but the awesome views along the way are worth going back for.
LITTLE RIVER
LITTLE RIVER CANYON
It only takes us about three and a half hours to get up to this area from Montgomery, and being nestled in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, this makes this a great place to bring the Jeep and explore roads we never tried while riding the Glides. I was never a big fan of riding on the gravel for long periods of time, but now that's all changed!
I hope everyone had a great weekend and here's to an even better week!
Lady R
LITTLE RIVER
LITTLE RIVER CANYON
It only takes us about three and a half hours to get up to this area from Montgomery, and being nestled in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, this makes this a great place to bring the Jeep and explore roads we never tried while riding the Glides. I was never a big fan of riding on the gravel for long periods of time, but now that's all changed!
I hope everyone had a great weekend and here's to an even better week!
Lady R
Sunday, September 18, 2011
CROSSROADS... CHOICES... AND LIFE
Crossroads... One of my of my favorite things about riding, is coming up on a crossroads and trying to decide which way to go. Unless we had a preplanned destination in mind, Harley and I could spend our days of riding just meandering down unfamiliar roads and trying to find interesting places to share with others. Coming up on a four cornered stop, we'd look one way... then the other... the choice was ours.
Choices... We would take turns deciding, left, right or straight. The fun was in the mystery of it all. Our exploratory adventures often paid off when we'd find a new shortcut, or hidden treasure, but sometimes we could be right back where we started. This was not so bad, as long as you had time on your side and are good at U-turns. I seemed to enjoy those rides the best.
Crossroads and choices... They are not just on our roads and highways. We deal with them daily, in our everyday lives as well.
Life... From our first breath to our last, good or bad, it happens to us all. For the most part, what we do with our life is up to us, barring any unforeseen circumstances that may alter any previous plans or decisions. Keeping a good attitude and a healthy conscience, goes a long way in experiencing in what most folks would call "a good life". I would like to be able to look back on mine and say I lived life to the fullest and had no regrets.
During our 31 years of marriage so far, Harley and I have been doing exactly that. We've had the pleasure of taking on various challenges and activities allowing us to enjoy our life as a couple while we feed our adventurous spirits. Some experiences have been more rewarding than others and we've waded through our share of trials and tribulations, but for the most part, we are very blessed. Being able to ride motorcycles together for the last 8 years has probably been one of the biggest (of blessings) so far.
As most of you know, my hubby of 31 years went down this past Spring, on Mother's Day Weekend. (See... THE WRECK and DEATH OF A RIDER) We had big plans this year, but our summer has been wrought with hospitals, rehab facilities, and Dr. visits. Oh... and pain. Lots and lots of pain.
I've been by his side for all of it and let me tell you this... it did not look fun! Since his accident took place, I've been able to get in a few little rides, but nothing very spectacular. Commuting to work a few times, and getting out for a ride on my birthday for a couple hours, and that's been about it. Pitiful... but what can I say... that's LIFE!
As I cruised along the highway, that day of my birthday, I wondered what would happen now. I missed Harley, and it felt strange to be out on the road by myself, knowing he was back at the house, laid up on the couch anxiously awaiting my return. I've ridden solo plenty of times before and with other riding friends, but knowing he was out there somewhere on his own Glide, somehow made it okay. It felt very different now... very lost... very... separated.
With all that being said, I found myself at one of these crossroads in life... with choices to contemplate and decisions to make. Believe me when I say, it has been a very disheartening process.
I'm not the kind of person that can leave my loved ones behind. Maybe it's my own undoing, but I've always been that way. We're a team... we do things together... it's been that way for 31 years! The fact that the love of my life has lost his rider spirit, leaves me with the decision to carry on without him, or follow suit and put my riding days to rest. Believe me when I tell you... it has been a very tough pill to swallow, but I've decided to take a break from riding... at least for now.
I don't expect all of you to understand, and I imagine some of you are shaking your head right now as you read this. That's okay... I can accept that. I'm a "live and let live" kind of gal. Those who really know me, know I'm the same person... whether I'm riding or not. The fact remains, no matter how much I love my motorcycle and riding it, I love my husband more. Together we will accomplish many things. I have to believe, when one door closes... another will open.
Good decisions... are often compromised by emotions. ~ Author unknown.
Riding on memories...
Lady R
Author's note:
I realize I've been neglecting my blog lately, but that's because I felt like I was hiding behind a cloak of deceit. Lady Rides-a-lot became Lady Rides-no-more, and I was having a hard time "coming out" about it. Telling you all of my decision not to ride has just lifted the burden of truth resting on my shoulders and I feel free to move forward with... the next chapter. Stay tuned... life goes on!!
Choices... We would take turns deciding, left, right or straight. The fun was in the mystery of it all. Our exploratory adventures often paid off when we'd find a new shortcut, or hidden treasure, but sometimes we could be right back where we started. This was not so bad, as long as you had time on your side and are good at U-turns. I seemed to enjoy those rides the best.
Crossroads and choices... They are not just on our roads and highways. We deal with them daily, in our everyday lives as well.
Life... From our first breath to our last, good or bad, it happens to us all. For the most part, what we do with our life is up to us, barring any unforeseen circumstances that may alter any previous plans or decisions. Keeping a good attitude and a healthy conscience, goes a long way in experiencing in what most folks would call "a good life". I would like to be able to look back on mine and say I lived life to the fullest and had no regrets.
During our 31 years of marriage so far, Harley and I have been doing exactly that. We've had the pleasure of taking on various challenges and activities allowing us to enjoy our life as a couple while we feed our adventurous spirits. Some experiences have been more rewarding than others and we've waded through our share of trials and tribulations, but for the most part, we are very blessed. Being able to ride motorcycles together for the last 8 years has probably been one of the biggest (of blessings) so far.
As most of you know, my hubby of 31 years went down this past Spring, on Mother's Day Weekend. (See... THE WRECK and DEATH OF A RIDER) We had big plans this year, but our summer has been wrought with hospitals, rehab facilities, and Dr. visits. Oh... and pain. Lots and lots of pain.
I've been by his side for all of it and let me tell you this... it did not look fun! Since his accident took place, I've been able to get in a few little rides, but nothing very spectacular. Commuting to work a few times, and getting out for a ride on my birthday for a couple hours, and that's been about it. Pitiful... but what can I say... that's LIFE!
As I cruised along the highway, that day of my birthday, I wondered what would happen now. I missed Harley, and it felt strange to be out on the road by myself, knowing he was back at the house, laid up on the couch anxiously awaiting my return. I've ridden solo plenty of times before and with other riding friends, but knowing he was out there somewhere on his own Glide, somehow made it okay. It felt very different now... very lost... very... separated.
With all that being said, I found myself at one of these crossroads in life... with choices to contemplate and decisions to make. Believe me when I say, it has been a very disheartening process.
I'm not the kind of person that can leave my loved ones behind. Maybe it's my own undoing, but I've always been that way. We're a team... we do things together... it's been that way for 31 years! The fact that the love of my life has lost his rider spirit, leaves me with the decision to carry on without him, or follow suit and put my riding days to rest. Believe me when I tell you... it has been a very tough pill to swallow, but I've decided to take a break from riding... at least for now.
I don't expect all of you to understand, and I imagine some of you are shaking your head right now as you read this. That's okay... I can accept that. I'm a "live and let live" kind of gal. Those who really know me, know I'm the same person... whether I'm riding or not. The fact remains, no matter how much I love my motorcycle and riding it, I love my husband more. Together we will accomplish many things. I have to believe, when one door closes... another will open.
Good decisions... are often compromised by emotions. ~ Author unknown.
Riding on memories...
Lady R
Author's note:
I realize I've been neglecting my blog lately, but that's because I felt like I was hiding behind a cloak of deceit. Lady Rides-a-lot became Lady Rides-no-more, and I was having a hard time "coming out" about it. Telling you all of my decision not to ride has just lifted the burden of truth resting on my shoulders and I feel free to move forward with... the next chapter. Stay tuned... life goes on!!
Labels:
choices,
crossroads,
decisions,
life,
motorcycle
Friday, September 16, 2011
FRIDAY FUNNY - A LESSON IN GRAMMAR
A couple from Tennessee and a couple from the East Coast were seated on an airplane.
The girl from Tennessee being friendly and all said, "So... where y'all from?"
The East Coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Tennessee sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So... where y'all from, bitch?"
The girl from Tennessee being friendly and all said, "So... where y'all from?"
The East Coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The girl from Tennessee sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So... where y'all from, bitch?"
Labels:
conversations,
funny medicine,
grammar,
humor,
joke,
manners
Monday, September 12, 2011
PIC OF THE WEEK - THE COLLECTOR
Just a little sample of what you might see on the side of the road if you find yourself traveling north on Hwy. 9, somewhere up around Weiss Lake.
THE COLLECTOR
Gas signs and old cars. I think every southern yard should have some... don't you??
Have a great week everybody!
Lady R
THE COLLECTOR
Gas signs and old cars. I think every southern yard should have some... don't you??
Have a great week everybody!
Lady R
Sunday, September 11, 2011
REMEMBERING 911
It's hard to believe it's been ten years since the tragic events of "911" shook this country.
Please... take some time today to honor and remember our fallen Americans... our heroes.
Josh 1:9............ "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Lady R
Please... take some time today to honor and remember our fallen Americans... our heroes.
Josh 1:9............ "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Lady R
Friday, September 9, 2011
FRIDAY FUNNY - WHY TEACHERS DRINK
Schools all over the country have opened their doors and class has begun, so I've decided to dedicate my Friday Funny to education.
Below are some actual examples of homework and test answers that have been put forth by our children. God Bless our teachers... for they may need it!
And now... for my favorite one yet...
Below are some actual examples of homework and test answers that have been put forth by our children. God Bless our teachers... for they may need it!
And now... for my favorite one yet...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
PIC OF THE WEEK - COHUTTA MOUNTAIN IN GEORGIA
I know this post is a day late, but I didn't come out of the woods and off the mountain till yesterday and then I chose to nap my long weekend to a close.
Our summer was a little interrupted by unforeseen events, so when Harley and I had the chance to head for the hills for Labor Day... we did exactly that. We rented a cabin up on Lookout Mountain in Mentone, AL and rode the Jeep over to Georgia to explore in the Chattahoochee National Forest on some awesome fire roads.
COHUTTA MOUNTAIN IN GEORGIA
We found FR 17 that took us to the top on a sandy gravel interpretation of the "Tail of the Dragon", complete with very steep drops offs and no guard rails.
Just to give you an idea... if you were to step in the grass on the left side of this road, you would be looking down at a 90 to 100 foot drop... at least!
It was wickedly scary in a few places, but we had a wonderful weekend and very relaxing one at that!
I hope you all had a great holiday... I know I did!
Lady R
Our summer was a little interrupted by unforeseen events, so when Harley and I had the chance to head for the hills for Labor Day... we did exactly that. We rented a cabin up on Lookout Mountain in Mentone, AL and rode the Jeep over to Georgia to explore in the Chattahoochee National Forest on some awesome fire roads.
COHUTTA MOUNTAIN IN GEORGIA
We found FR 17 that took us to the top on a sandy gravel interpretation of the "Tail of the Dragon", complete with very steep drops offs and no guard rails.
Just to give you an idea... if you were to step in the grass on the left side of this road, you would be looking down at a 90 to 100 foot drop... at least!
It was wickedly scary in a few places, but we had a wonderful weekend and very relaxing one at that!
I hope you all had a great holiday... I know I did!
Lady R
Friday, September 2, 2011
FRIDAY FUNNY - FUNERALS
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking... of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist".
The proctologist fainted.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking... of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist".
The proctologist fainted.
Labels:
cardiologist,
funeral,
funny medicine,
gynecologist,
humor,
joke,
proctologist
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