Crossroads... One of my of my favorite things about riding, is coming up on a crossroads and trying to decide which way to go. Unless we had a preplanned destination in mind, Harley and I could spend our days of riding just meandering down unfamiliar roads and trying to find interesting places to share with others. Coming up on a four cornered stop, we'd look one way... then the other... the choice was ours.
Choices... We would take turns deciding, left, right or straight. The fun was in the mystery of it all. Our exploratory adventures often paid off when we'd find a new shortcut, or hidden treasure, but sometimes we could be right back where we started. This was not so bad, as long as you had time on your side and are good at U-turns. I seemed to enjoy those rides the best.
Crossroads and choices... They are not just on our roads and highways. We deal with them daily, in our everyday lives as well.
Life... From our first breath to our last, good or bad, it happens to us all. For the most part, what we do with our life is up to us, barring any unforeseen circumstances that may alter any previous plans or decisions. Keeping a good attitude and a healthy conscience, goes a long way in experiencing in what most folks would call "a good life". I would like to be able to look back on mine and say I lived life to the fullest and had no regrets.
During our 31 years of marriage so far, Harley and I have been doing exactly that. We've had the pleasure of taking on various challenges and activities allowing us to enjoy our life as a couple while we feed our adventurous spirits. Some experiences have been more rewarding than others and we've waded through our share of trials and tribulations, but for the most part, we are very blessed. Being able to ride motorcycles together for the last 8 years has probably been one of the biggest (of blessings) so far.
As most of you know, my hubby of 31 years went down this past Spring, on Mother's Day Weekend. (See... THE WRECK and DEATH OF A RIDER) We had big plans this year, but our summer has been wrought with hospitals, rehab facilities, and Dr. visits. Oh... and pain. Lots and lots of pain.
I've been by his side for all of it and let me tell you this... it did not look fun! Since his accident took place, I've been able to get in a few little rides, but nothing very spectacular. Commuting to work a few times, and getting out for a ride on my birthday for a couple hours, and that's been about it. Pitiful... but what can I say... that's LIFE!
As I cruised along the highway, that day of my birthday, I wondered what would happen now. I missed Harley, and it felt strange to be out on the road by myself, knowing he was back at the house, laid up on the couch anxiously awaiting my return. I've ridden solo plenty of times before and with other riding friends, but knowing he was out there somewhere on his own Glide, somehow made it okay. It felt very different now... very lost... very... separated.
With all that being said, I found myself at one of these crossroads in life... with choices to contemplate and decisions to make. Believe me when I say, it has been a very disheartening process.
I'm not the kind of person that can leave my loved ones behind. Maybe it's my own undoing, but I've always been that way. We're a team... we do things together... it's been that way for 31 years! The fact that the love of my life has lost his rider spirit, leaves me with the decision to carry on without him, or follow suit and put my riding days to rest. Believe me when I tell you... it has been a very tough pill to swallow, but I've decided to take a break from riding... at least for now.
I don't expect all of you to understand, and I imagine some of you are shaking your head right now as you read this. That's okay... I can accept that. I'm a "live and let live" kind of gal. Those who really know me, know I'm the same person... whether I'm riding or not. The fact remains, no matter how much I love my motorcycle and riding it, I love my husband more. Together we will accomplish many things. I have to believe, when one door closes... another will open.
Good decisions... are often compromised by emotions. ~ Author unknown.
Riding on memories...
I realize I've been neglecting my blog lately, but that's because I felt like I was hiding behind a cloak of deceit. Lady Rides-a-lot became Lady Rides-no-more, and I was having a hard time "coming out" about it. Telling you all of my decision not to ride has just lifted the burden of truth resting on my shoulders and I feel free to move forward with... the next chapter. Stay tuned... life goes on!!