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Friday, April 8, 2011


The Loving Wife

An escaped convict breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife...

"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Just look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds...
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom."

"Be strong honey... I love you too."

I hope everybody has a great weekend planned. Our weather dude tells us it's going to sunny and warm... Let's ride!!

Lady R

P.S. Keep your doors locked! Muwahahahahaha!


Arizona Harley Dude said...

That is just wrong. Funny, but wrong.

FLHX_Dave said...

Oh hell no!....but hella funny!

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Lady Ridesalot:

That's not what I whispered to the woman... But it's what we agreed to say to her husband.

Raining here until Sunday...

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads
The Biker Blog That Never Says, "That's A Bad Idea..."

George F said...

Nice one ;-)

Willy D said...

I think I know whose wife that is. The things we do in the name of love (.)(.)

Lady Ridesalot said...

AZD... Yeah... and he's probably the kind of husband who would duck so a flying bird could hit his sweetheart behind him with full force! I can hear Harley Nana now... "and don't tense up dear, that just makes it worse." Muwahahahahahaha!

Viking Dave... What? You don't see that happening to you? LOL!

Dear Mr. Riepe,

Very clever of you.

The funny thing about this story is, that we actually have 3 large state prisons within 25 miles of our home. Tutwiler (for women) Kilby and Draper (for men). We often ride past these facilities on our way out, or back in from a good day's ride.

When I told the hubby this joke, he just smirked. I reminded him... "Be afraid, be very afraid!"

Hell, with my luck, if this were to happen to us, it would be one of those crackhead bitches from Tutwiler who would want to do me! Yikes!!
No rain for us, just sunshine and warm. (side stands up!)

Looking over her shoulder,
Lady R

George F... Thanks! It's always better to start the weekend with a smile!

Willy D... errr, "The things we do..." Does that mean you were the one looking for the Vaseline? Dude... we need to talk.

Brady said...

I hope they've got more than Vaseline. Like muscle relaxers and valium.

Going riding tomorrow, it's going to be great. Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

Behind Bars - Motorcycles and Life

MeanDonnaJean said...

"with my luck, if this were to happen to us, it would be one of those crackhead bitches from Tutwiler who would want to do me! Yikes!!"

Hey, ya nevvvvver know just how good it'll be...so don't yikes it 'til ya dykes it! ;-)

Lady Ridesalot said...

Brady... riding was great yesterday. Some cloud cover in the a.m. that was gone by lunch. We logged just over 200 miles and enjoyed the twisty road up to Mt. Cheaha State Park. Saw lots of other riders too!

MDJ... girl! Thanks for helping me blow Cherios through my nose! My keyboard's a mess!
I need to remember to never be drinking coffee or eating substance of any kind before reading your comments!


Mr. Motorcycle said...

Awwwwwww, that's just not right. Poor fella. Least he wasn't gonna get dry humped.