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Friday, April 22, 2011



(A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.)

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place', and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, "Why the spoon?"

"Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Anderson Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he said. I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-now-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how to you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."


Arizona Harley Dude said...


Dean "D-Day" said...

LMAO!!! Where do you come up with these jokes?!

George F said...

I have been fighting a STUPID consultant at my work and this made me laugh, I have forward it to some co-workers, Thanks :-)

KT Did said...

Ok... I will never never never take another utensil out of someone's apron again. :)) LOL

Lady Ridesalot said...

AZD... :D

Dean... I have my secret sources. I could tell you... but then I would have to kill you. ;]

George F... For the most part, they're usually a big waste of money AND time. I feel for ya, man.

K.T... makes ya think... don't it??

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Oh My God that is funny!!!!

WooleyBugger said...

Dang, I laughed so hard my eyes got watery.

bobskoot said...

Lady R:

I love it ! I'm still smiling.

bobskoot: wet coast scootin

MeanDonnaJean said...

What IS goin' on at Blogger today, anyway? Is this some kinda new private parts day or somethin'???

First its a Breasts-in-the-Bra post over at Erin's blog, and now its yer Pull-the-Penis-by-the-String post.

Sooooo, now that I've had my fill of tits 'n prix for the day, I shall be on my merry lil' way......

Ta ta, titties.

Peace out, penis.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Lady Ridesalot:

I used to be a bartender in my immediate post college years... And a patron bithed at me all the time to use ice tongs... Naturally ahe came in one night and saw the string hanging out of my zipper. And my response was "The Ice Tongs."

Didn't work. She still married me. That was Mrs. Riepe #1.

Fondest Regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Happy Easter

Webster World said...

Guess I'll use my butter knife to eat soup if I drop my spoon.