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Friday, April 29, 2011


Why I'm Now Getting A Divorce...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday".

I thought well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss, Rick, said, "Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Rick knocked on my door and said, "You know... it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch. Just you and me."

I said, "Thanks Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch.

But... we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office Rick said, "You know... it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go straight back to the office right away, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

He said, "Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, "If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok", I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....



Billy said...

Well, now that you're single again, wanna go riding?

FLHX_Dave said...

OMGosh! That was hella' funny!...and here I thought you were going to tell us you were swept off your feet by a handsome tornado...pfffttt...you are kidding...right? ;)

Raftnn said...

I remember readingthat some where before but couldnt remember the punch line....very good...Although your friday funnys are Saturday for me!

Willy D said...

You a dirty ol’ Lady u R!

That’s some good ‘Curves’. Kinda’ like porn from the 30’s.

Dean "D-Day" said...

Wow...remind me to take you out to lunch when I come to visit.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Lady Ridesalot:

I remember that afternoon.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

Webster World said...

Nice picture :-) I needed that.

Lady Ridesalot said...

Billy... I'll go riding any day... single or not!

Dave... don't worry my friend... Harley's not going anywhere. ;]

Raftnn... Well, I guess in your case it's a great way to start a day off!

Willy D... Well, I try hard. I mean, think about it... you've got your DOB's... I'm just a DOL (dirty ol' lady) Maybe we should start our own contests, and you can be our judge!

And yes... I figured you'd like these curves a lot better!

Dean... LOL! You crack me up! Lunch it is!!

Dear Mr Riepe,
Me too! It was nice of you to entertain the children while I stammered my excuses between my boss and my husband. Thanks a lot pal!
Your under the bus friend,
Lady R
(not quite what you were expecting, was it?)

Webster... your welcome. ;}

George F said...

Ha ha, when is your birthday? ;-)
Nice one, I can just see this happening to some out there, jokes always have some truth behind them...

Ken said...

You got me. I'm still laughing!

Lady Ridesalot said...

GeorgeF... my birthday is not till this summer... and I don't do surprises!

Ken... Glad to help. Laughing feels so good. ;)