I hate to steal the thunder from Mr. M who always has a good joke or two to share, but I couldn't help myself. My good buddy, who wishes to remain anonymous, sent be this funny story.
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock
to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like
a mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.
Male readers : Please scroll down. ....
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen...now run along like a good girl and get us a beer. |  |
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Lady R
26 comments:
LMFAO!! I can always count on you folks for a good laugh in the morning. Thanks!
OK, that was funny...but if anyone ever said to me "run along and get me a beer" I think I would kill them. :)
Thanks for the laugh!
Well done my dear... well done.
Tell us jokes any time you wish!
That was really funny! And clever too!
Ann,
Kill em with what, a mild heart atack? LOL!
I'm with Ann...run along and get your own damn beer!
mmmwwwhhaaaaaaahahahahah! whew..., I needed that. I think I could get that beer. "Run along and get me a beer, then I'll go down on you and spell the alphabet with my tongue." Would that get me that beer? (too bad I don't like beer all that much...whiskey? OK!)
Thanks for the laugh Lady R. Clever joke, and what makes it even more funny is that each sex gets the last laugh in the end. We truly are equal at the end of the joke. heh.
Dean...My pleasure! Anything to make the day start with a smile or a laugh has to be a bonus!
Ann and Mrs. R.C...Me too! Where's the Tide?
Mr. M...Thanks to you as well. I love your jokes, so I'm glad I could return the volley!
Dave...Whew!(as she dabs at the perspiration on her forehead!) ...promises like that may bring you a case! LOL! Hmmmm. I'll have to talk to Harley about his ABC's!
O.K. ladies, all in fun here.... I know I'm going to regret this, but....
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can...
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Mr. M...YOU are being such a pot stirrer this week! I do believe a line has been drawn in the sand ladies! Let's not disappoint them! Moohoowhaaahhaaa! (in her most sinister laugh possible!)
Why did you delete my comment? Chicken? Hey everybody, Lady Ridesalot is trying to keep a secret. Today is her birthday! Ha! Ha!
OK, I'll play...
Why are wedding dresses white?
So the dish washer matches the refrigerator.
mmmuuuuaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
I Kill myself...
Buck
OK One more, and this one is bad...
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice...
I know that one is going to come back and bite me later.
Buck
Hapyy birthday!!!!
Can I see your Birthday suit?
I loved the joke. I'd say more, But I'm parched so I'm waiting on mama to bring me a beer.
Oh, I'm dying!
First of all...A very happy birthday to you! I hope it was wonderful.
Ok... Loved the joke, loved all the jokes in the comments!
Dave- how bout YOU get ME a beer and I'll be nice enough to let you practice the alphabet!
anonymous....who ever you are, I will find out... and get you! Watch your back! LOL!
So much for trying to fly under the radar!
Bucky...funny bro! Just for that, I'll let you bring me back a T-shirt from Sturgis! Glad you coming home today. Yeah! Have fun on your next adventure!
big d... Sure, I've got it on right now! Can't you tell? ;D Thanks!
Be careful, Ann is liable to wrap you up side your head with your opened beer.
B.B...thanks! I really wanted to keep it under wraps. Your a woman, you know how it is. If they don't know when it's your birthday, they can't keep count on your years. That way I can be how ever old I want to be! LOL!
BTW...you sizzle girl! I think Dave won't mind suffering through practice. And no worries here either...Harley made sure my birthday was a happy one! Woo Hoo!
Damn that was funny! Mr. M's were too - only bad part is some of them were so true I don't know if I should've been laughing or crying. I'll hate $@!%ing wedding cake for the rest of my days.
Dave, all I can say is "more Capital T!"
Lady R: A big hug and a kiss for your birthday. I'd love to offer more, but I don't think Harley would like that!
Hope you had a great Birthday!!
I would run along and get a beer but he wouldn't like the opening he would "drink" it from..
More capital "T"...
(I haven't heard that one in years.) You crack me up!
Hope you had a great birthday!
“The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.”
Happy birthday Lady R...and many more!
Happy birthday, LadyR!
Mr M: I read the first one and couldn't read the others after that. Ugh!
Happy belated birthday!
In lieu of Bucky's joke, I'll leave another one. I wasn't going to post this one, but Bucky openend the door. I'm gonna burn for it I know...
What do all the women at the battered womens shelter have in common?
They didn't F'n listen!
My wife hates that joke.
Lady R- My grandma has a favorite saying..."If you didn't know how old you were, how old would you be." She is 83 and acts younger than me. When we went to visit her I had a hard time keeping up.
Joker...Mr. M is treading on this thin ice isn't he! That's okay, it's all good!
Thanks for the well wishes. I'll take that birthday hug! Save it for me. Hopefully we will meet some day.
Mr. M...I have the shirt for you. Sick Boy. LOL!
Bucky...that goes for you two!
Thank you all! I really appreciate your kind words and well wishes. You all are friends, and I really enjoy our little blogging community.
I had an older gentleman tell me once..."Birthdays are good, if you stop having them, you have a real problem!" I'll try to remember this.
Thanks again everyone! May we all have many happy birthdays!
LMAOOOO!
May I also send out belated birthday wishes to you Lovely Lady R. I'm thinking that Tisha and I should meet you and H sometime soon around Birmingham so that I can deliver on my promise of a 5th of Gentleman Jack for next years Derby Party.
Ronman
Happy B-day. Hope it was great. I posted some flowers for you on my blog.
Ronman...now that's a promise I'll let you keep. The Derby girls would be much appreciative as well.
I think Harley and I need to try to meet up with you and Tisha. Your on a roll for meeting us! We can see how many of your blog roll you can actually come face to face with. Thanks!
Masterchief...your so sweet. I went and saw my flowers. Thank you very much! I left you a comment.
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