TALLADEGA SCENIC HIGHWAY ON MT. CHEAHA ~ ALABAMA ~ photo taken by Dianna Stover
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Friday, May 11, 2012

FRIDAY FUNNY - MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME...

Today's Friday Funny is in honor of Mother's. My mom was a great mother, and I thank her greatly for passing along her vast vault of wisdom.  I'm sure many of your own moms raised you with some of these same "lessons" ... it's what mothers do.

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME...

1.  My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside! I just finished cleaning."

2.  My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.  My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.  My mother taught me LOGIC.
    "Because I said so, that's why."

5.  My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6.  My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7.  My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8.  My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9.  My mother taught me about CONTORION-ISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?!"

10.  My mother taught me about STAMINA.
      "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11.  My mother taught me about the WEATHER.
      "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

12.  My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
      "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13.  My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
      "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14.  My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
      "Stop acting like your father!"

15.  My mother taught me about ENVY.
      "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.  My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
      "Just wait until we get home."

17.  My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
      "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18.  My mother me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
      "If you don't stop crossing your eye, they are going to get stuck that way."

19.  My mother taught me ESP.
      "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.  My mother taught me HUMOR.
      "When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.  My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
      "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.  My mother taught me GENETICS.
      "You're just like your father."

23.  My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
      "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.  My mother taught me WISDOM.
      "When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25.  My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
      "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

And... saving my favorite one for last...

My mother taught me about CHOICE.
    "Do you want me to stop this car?"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYBODY!!

10 comments:

Gina Williams said...

I think are mothers might be related because I heard every one of those lines myself growing up. But my favorite was.... mom " Don't you got the sense to come in out of the rain?"... Should have been obvious that I did not because I was still out playing in it...; D

Beck said...

WOW! Do you think we all had the same mother? It's so funny remembering all those things she would say to us. Now, we tell ours kids the same things. #13 is one that I say to my son all the time. Love you lots, Mom! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!! Wish you were still here.

Trobairitz said...

Well said and how true.

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there.

motoroz said...

Oh so true. Happy Mothers Day to all the moms! Mine will be 92 in a month!

Lady R (Di) said...

Dear Gina...

Playing in the rain was always fun! Trying to find the biggest puddles... then jump for the biggest splashes. Sweet memories!

Happy Mother's Day and thanks for visiting Southern Comfort.

Lady R (Di)

Lady R (Di) said...

Beck...

I don't think they take it too seriously though. Maybe you should tell them about mothers in the wild... where they eat they're young!
(Be afraid... be very afraid!)

Happy Heavenly Mother's Day for your mom. Missed, but not forgotten.

Have a nice weekend.

Lady R (Di)

Lady R (Di) said...

Dear Trobairitz,

You and I are in the same boat, I guess. But thankfully, I have some great nieces who go out of their way to make my Mother's Day feel special too.

Hope your weekend is a nice one. Especially if you spend it riding! Log a few miles for me while your at it.

Lady R (Di)

Lady R (Di) said...

Motoroz...

92! Happy Birthday to MOM!! Congratulations on being able to enjoy her still. Have a great weekend!

Lady R (Di)

Webster World said...

Yeap!

Martha said...

I LOVE This! I hear both of my parents in this! Funny now! Not so funny then....