Southern Comfort

FRIDAY FUNNY - WALKING THE DOG

2012-01-27T06:28:00.000-06:00

WALKING THE DOG

A woman was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Guide dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, called her by name and said, "Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?” The blind lady replied, “No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.”

Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses!

People scattered.

They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story.

Have a great day and remember…

The Pilot and his pal Buddy

...THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

PIC OF THE WEEK - THE JACK B. VENABLE BRIDGE

2012-01-23T06:26:00.000-06:00

CR 50 in Elmore County is a nice little road that delivers you to The Cherokee Ridge Alpine Trail, a beautiful scenic overlook of Lake Martin. On the way there, however, you get to ride cross the Jack B. Venable bridge and the Tallapoosa River.

JACK B. VENABLE BRIDGE

Coming up on the bridge seems uneventful, however, as you ride across, you get a dose of interesting scenery and old history as your mind jumps into action as it registers your "snapshot" to memory.

The "old" Jack B. Venable Bridge

The history behind old broken bridges like one this interest me. These retired, crumbling bridge abutments stand as haunting reminders of the original structure that once graced this spot. They almost seem like a sad memorial to an era gone by, and the history they hold deteriorates with them as they age and weather.

... kind of like us!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - BUT... BUT... BUTT

2012-01-20T06:37:00.000-06:00

I can't take credit for any of these photos, BUTT... I think you'll find them as funny as I did.

Shew... I sure am glad I ate those beans this morning. I'd never make it!

Hi... YA!

The f*#king ball ain't up there you moron!!

Have a nice weekend everybody!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - THE GEORGIA AQUARIUM

2012-01-16T06:14:00.000-06:00

A couple years ago, while camping in the infield at the Atlanta Motor Speedway for a NASCAR event, some of us broke out for a while and went downtown to the Georgia Aquarium. It was a very cool place to kill some time and I would definitely make another trip over just to see it again.

THE GEORGIA AQUARIUM

Star Subject

Graceful swimmer

Say cheese!

Beautiful Clowns

I could sit and watch the graceful beauty of the underwater world for a long time. It's so relaxing.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and now it's time to get to work! Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - IT ALL BEGAN WITH AN iPHONE

2012-01-13T06:15:00.000-06:00

IT ALL BEGAN WITH AN iPHONE... by some unlucky f#*ker.

March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone... and he just loved it! Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August, so we got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September, so of course, I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the big fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize, is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network... with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

Warning: This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!

PIC OF THE WEEK - OBJECTS IN MIRROR...

2012-01-09T06:39:00.001-06:00

I've been reminiscing a lot lately over our past riding adventures. When Harley had his wreck this past Spring, it was clear that his riding days were definitely on hold, if not permanently expired. Since we are the kind of couple that deals with life's ups and downs together, I made my very difficult decision to support him and not ride... for now. He's been doing very well, but his strength and limberness has been severely compromised. Daily activities serve as constant reminders that he would have a very difficult time trying to ride right now and not be a danger to himself or others.

That's not to say that I've not been missing our weekly adventures because I have... big time! I've been looking over old ride pics and found these that were taken during a chilly ride back in January of 2010.

OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR...

Following the leader

Making my move!

... BEFORE THEY PASS YOU!

Lady R... riding on a cold day in Wilcox County, Alabama

Harley was always my go to man, as he was great at catching good pics on the fly. I miss riding my Glide, at times, so much it hurts. But then, all I have to do is take a nice long look at Harley and realize there is more to life than motorcycles. Thank you God, for helping me keep that in perspective.

Have a nice week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - NEVER ASSUME

2012-01-06T06:42:00.000-06:00

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen", said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly!" claimed the young engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper, and pushed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."

Lesson: Never, ever assume your boss knows what he's doing!

PIC OF THE WEEK - BANDIT BOY

2012-01-02T08:23:00.000-06:00

Today's Pic of the Week is not an awesome road, nor a cool landmark. Instead, I will share a subject you may have seen before, as he is usually large and in charge. This little creature holds a special place in my heart, and besides... he's so cute!

BANDIT BOY

My handsome "little man"... who helps me keep the rest of the brood in line. No one can get a correction from me, without Bandit jumping in and giving his two cents worth. He loves the fact that we have a Jeep now, and he loves going for R-I-D-E-S. (I have to spell it... or else!)

I'm going for a ride!

"I think we go up here and take a right, dad..."

He's is a great little navigator and loves to help drive.

Let's go mom!

I should have named him "Clown"... because he's always making me laugh!

I hope you all had a nice holiday. Today is my last day off before settling into the new year and I'm going to relish in it all I can. I think I'll let Bandit help me with some laundry... he likes bringing me socks!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

LOOKING BACK

2011-12-31T11:35:00.003-06:00

Gone... another year. My, how time flies!

Looking back on 2011 leaves me savoring in thoughts wrought with highs and lows. Even though the year brought about a few unexpected surprises, I have much to be thankful for, all of which makes the memories and experiences of these last 12 months that much more valuable. I would like to say things were perfect but, I figured out a long time ago; life is what you make of it... imperfections and all.

Looking back on County Rd. 29 in Coosa County.

So, here's to looking back! Looking back is good for reflection, however, I plan to use that reflection to embrace the New Year with vigor and determination. I have a mental checklist of behaviors I plan to change, memories I need keep, and baggage I need to throw away... for good!

I think turning the page on the calendar is going to feel good this year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

Lady R

Author's Note: I know I missed my posts this week, but I had some wonderful family time in Iowa and enjoyed my trip back home immensely (even though I didn't get to experience even the first snow flake!).

FRIDAY FUNNY - HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

2011-12-23T05:30:00.007-06:00

Don't forget... Jesus IS the reason for the season!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

Red... my Christmas brother! (and favorite clown!)

My brother Red shares his birthday with Jesus. I always felt sorry for him not getting to have a special day all to himself, but hey... not everybody can be as special has he is! I love you bro... and Happy Birthday!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS... A TALE OF BLIZZARDS, PUPPY LOVE AND BROWN SPOTS IN THE GRASS

2011-12-22T05:39:00.002-06:00

Going home for Christmas!

For the last 30 something years, that expression has brought it's share of joy, excitement, anticipation and stress! Don't get me wrong... I love Christmas, and I love going home... but when the two events are happening simultaneously, the stress meter definitely gets a bit of a work out. Making sure you have everything you need for the trip, as well as not forgetting anybody's Christmas... well, you get my drift.

And speaking of drifts, the news of our heartland being under heavy snow and blizzard conditions, makes me drift back in time to another "going home for Christmas" trip... a trip that left scars and will live in our minds forever!

It was the Christmas of 1981. Harley and I had just bought our first new car as a married couple and we thought we were the shit. A silver 1980 Datsun 200 SX. We might have been married, but we still wanted to hold on to some cool factor, and that quick little 5 speed fed our need for play. The only trouble with our awesome SX is, it was a bit small when it came to loading up the family... with all our luggage.

Our "family" during that time, consisted of us and two English Shepherds, Molly and Keiva. They were male and female litter mates and each weighed in at about 75 and 90 lbs. respectively. Not the largest shepherds we've ever had, but when you're putting them in the back seat of a small compact car, they seemed much larger. Complicate that arrangement with a 16 hour drive, that turned into a 24 hour nightmare during blizzard conditions... well, hold on a minute... it gets worse.

The very morning we were to leave, I noticed a small blood spot on Molly's leg and wondered what she had done to hurt herself. After looking her over, I was baffled, until I noticed that she kept licking herself. Looking under her belly, I discovered her "love spot" was swollen and... YEP! You guessed it... she just went into "heat". Yay us!! Now what? We've heard of doggie diapers so we decided to stop by the pet store on our way out of town to see if this would help our situation. Our biggest thought at that moment was how we were going to keep her from making a mess out of our new car! I mean come on... really??

After procuring some diapers, we headed north to Iowa. We thought the problem was solved, but unfortunately, Keiva had other plans. Dogs don't care if you're their sister. I could see it in his eyes. He was thinking it was his duty... if you're ready to f*#k, than by golly Miss Molly, I'm ready to oblige ya!!

So went the circling... and the panting... and the hunching... and the scolding... all while in the confines of the small compact back seat of the Datsun. I kept thinking that we need to hurry up and get there so we can let these poor creatures out of this tiny little cage. Molly kept giving Keiva those sideways glances as she kept her "love spot" planted firmly to the seat, all while he was trying to persuade her to do otherwise. He hunched and hunched, to the point that I was afraid the poor dog was going to throw his back out before we could get him out of this car!

In addition to enduring the backseat ballet, the further north we got, the more volatile the weather became. We've been warned that there may be a storm during our drive up, but we figured as long we stayed on the interstate, we should be pretty good. About the time we turned west onto I-75 in Indianapolis, the snow and ice storm made driving extremely difficult and dangerous. We trekked on, but the speedometer never went over 30 mph, taking us over 5 hours to travel 150 miles. We noticed that most vehicles we encountered were either creeping along like us, or hanging off the edge of the road, having slipped into the loose stuff enough to remain trapped there. In spite of all that... we continued on.

Stopping to stretch legs and pee became something of an event also. The first time the dogs hopped out of the car and there was snow on the ground, you would have thought their paws were on fire. Picking up their feet and prancing around trying to figure how to move about without stepping in this very strange new stuff, was a comical site indeed. Every time Molly squatted to pee, (yes... the snow was deep!) she stood back up and kept searching for a clear spot. (I guess if I sat my "love spot" in the snow, it would give me a start also). Eventually, she figured out that if you dribble just a little bit out, you can melt a hole in the snow, which then allowed her to squat all the way down and finish her business. Smart girl!

We got to mom and dad's house much later than expected, but we made it safe and sound. After preparing a nice comfy place in the basement for the pups, (separated!) we officially commenced our Christmas holiday. The dogs got used to, and actually enjoyed playing in the snow and Molly's "condition" eventually waned. Everything seemed to settle down, but as all good vacations go, it was over too quick. Before you knew it, we were headed back south Our very large family... in our little compact car.

We made it back to our southern home without issue. The weather stayed good and thank God, we didn't deliver any puppies in February. Time passed and it wasn't until Spring came along before our Christmas trip to Iowa came back up as a hot topic of conversation. My dad was pissed! It seems, during our stay, Keiva (and Molly) left him many large presents in his yard. I guess when a big dog drops a turd bomb (or pees a lake the size of Erie) onto frozen ground, it freezes and stays there until Spring. When April came around and thawed out dad's yard, it was laden with very large brown dead spots, a sure result of lots and lots of Keiva bombs! Oh my!

About three seasons later, his bare spots filled in and his yard finally started to look nice again. He eventually saw the humor in Keiva's fertilization efforts, but the "NO VACANCY" sign went up for puppies, and never came back down. I'm sure if he were here today, he'd have something funny to say about it, and he really did love his Granddogs... as long as they stayed home!

So many Christmases have come and gone now, and there have been many trips back home share them. Today our family consists of two small dogs, referred to as "the boys", and a trio of felines. My moms thinks they're pretty good little guys, so she's decided it was time to take down the "NO VACANCY" sign and welcome them home for Christmas. Yay us!

Bandit and Joker are as excited as two little kids in a candy store. They're going home for Christmas and can't wait to go see Grandma! We have since learned many valuable lessons in regards to traveling with animals, and we tried to make life easier with our downsized "family". Little dogs equals little turds and trust me when I say... we'll have plenty of potty pads.

Merry Christmas everybody! Have a great holiday!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - WINTER TREES

2011-12-19T06:35:00.000-06:00

I've been pretty busy lately, getting ready for the holidays and making sure we're ready for our trip, so I was a bit hurried when I chose today's selection. However, today's pic's are scenes from my favorite road. It's rewarding to observe the seasonal changes in your collections of pictures from a favorite location.

WINTER TREES

I think the title of this blog pretty much sums it up. Riding (or driving) along roads like these will most likely shake off even the biggest of burdens life tends to throw you. Don't sweat the small stuff, but if you do, go take in a little "southern comfort".

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - REDNECK CHRISTMAS TREE

2011-12-16T06:18:00.000-06:00

DECK THEM HALLS Y'ALL!!

Copied from RedneckCommunity.com

Bonus Question:

What do you get when you cross a pickle and a Reindeer?

HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

PIC OF THE WEEK - CHRISTMAS IN DUBUQUE

2011-12-12T06:32:00.001-06:00

I'm leaving our warm temps behind and going north, to cold country so I can enjoy my Christmas holiday in Dubuque, Iowa with my family. We don't get snow in the south very often so I still get a kick out of playing in it when I go home to visit.

CHRISTMAS IN DUBUQUE

The Julien Dubuque Bridge

Looking over the downtown area

I took these pictures two years ago, the last time I was home for Christmas, and I'm reminded how old my hometown is. Although, there are many new things to bring visitors to Dubuque, she holds the title as oldest town in Iowa.

I love standing on this hill and looking out over the city. It feels so... homey.

I don't think they have snow on the ground yet, but there's still time. We are taking the Jeep, so I'm not worried. Let it snow... let it snow... let it snow!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - FINANCIAL PLANNING

2011-12-09T06:27:00.000-06:00

Gary was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few short years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card. Three days later... she became his stepmother.

http://www.bigpicture.in/55-beautiful-women-photos-by-chris-fortuna/

Women are so much better at financial planning than men!

AGITATION GRATIFICATION

2011-12-08T07:58:00.000-06:00

As most bikers know, the best rides are the long and leisure ones. Finding that perfect road with sweeping curves and roller coaster like hills is like hitting the mother load. Add a beautiful dose of amazing scenery and you have the perfect recipe for a good ride. Seeing the countryside on two wheels has brought me more gratification than I can shake a stick at. I don't think anything will ever replace the feelings I would experience while riding my Glide, but due to a few changes in my life... my search for the ultimate road has changed a bit.

Now that we have a Jeep, a "good" road (if you can even call it that) is laden with ruts and rocks and lined with a gauntlet of sharp tree branches that occasionally reach out for you as you pass, as if to play "tag, your it" with the doors.

Gone are the smooth rides with leans and speed... replaced by agitation gratification. Climbing to the top of a rutted out fire road embedded with small boulders, is like going through the wash cycle of your Kenmore washing machine. The constant side to side jerky movements coupled with a fling, forward or back, every now and then pretty much sums it up.

Trekking in the Jeep is very different that riding the Glide, but the gratification of doing something adventurous and fun remains the same. Harley and I are doing the best we can to live our lives to the fullest, and 4 wheelin' in the woods (with the puppies!) is helping us meet that goal. I would be lying if I told you I don't miss riding, but the path I've chosen is what works for us... for now at least.

Before the Jeep, folks would ask... "Are you riding this weekend?" The answer would almost always be a resounding "Yes!". Now when asked what we're doing for the weekend, I just respond... "I'm going to get agitated!"

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - MT. PLAYGROUND

2011-12-05T05:00:00.124-06:00

One of my favorite places to ride, is up around Mt. Cheaha and Talladega National Forest. Now that I have a Jeep, it's my favorite place to climb! People have asked me, "Where do you spend your Saturdays these days?" My answer is short and immediate... "the woods!"

MT. PLAYGROUND

The hills you see in the distance are the Talladega, Rebbecca, and Horn Mountains. Harley and I have been all over the Mt. Cheaha area on our Glides, enjoying the hilly curves of the asphalt, but lately we've been exploring the rough and rugged ridge tops of these hills.

While exploring the rugged trails that cut through these steep hills, our Jeep adventures have allowed us to enjoy a part of our beautiful state that seems to be hidden from the rest of the world. It's amazing how peaceful and serene it is up there.

I have accumulated quite a collection of pictures while trekking across these secluded pathways and I plan to share them with you all soon.

Have a nice week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"

2011-12-02T07:16:00.000-06:00

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved... I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money... fifty thousand dollars!

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

But Sally replied, "Finders keepers."

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No".

Andy chimed in and said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally responded, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile".

The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said, "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy started to explain, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "We're outta here!"

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU SENILE SENIORS!!

PIC OF THE WEEK - NAME THAT CLOUD

2011-11-28T06:04:00.000-06:00

I hope you all survived the Thanksgiving holiday, complete with full bellies and kicks in the shins (that's for all you black Friday shoppers!) Mine was a very lazy one this year, but it was totally the best. Harley and I went back up to the mountain to see if we could get our bee hive and it appears (as RichardM stated in his comment) someone probably used it for target practice. It was shot to hell and back... left nothing but gray confetti hangin' on a stick. It was not purty! Damn Richard, how did you know?

Anyway, my monitor went bad last week and I didn't replace it until yesterday, so I wasn't able to ponder over my photos and prepare properly for my Pic of the Week. Forgive me folks, but I'll try to do better next time.

This pic has been hanging around my files for a long time and for some crazy reason, I just can't delete it. I know I'm grasping here, but I always thought there would be an appropriate time for a pic like this. Today... is that time.

NAME THAT CLOUD

I think I'll let you all tell me what YOU see. I know what this cloud looks like to me, and I was wondering of anybody else sees what I see. Please comment and let me know!

Have a great week everybody, and don't forget... Name that cloud!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - HAIR SPRAY AND THE WORM

2011-11-25T07:49:00.000-06:00

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

Happy Friday all!

Lady R

I AM THANKFUL

2011-11-24T08:45:00.000-06:00

I'm inspired by two of my favorite bloggers... Mq01 over at Ms. M's Place and Kurt Sutter, creator of Sons of Anarchy and his blog, SutterInk. Kurt posted his first and Ms. M followed suit. It seemed fitting for today.

I AM THANKFUL...

For love... I almost became a widow this summer, but God spared me that.

For my job... In today's economy, I'm very grateful to be blessed with work.

For family... Coming from as large a family as I do... you never feel alone.

For friends... I have some real gems in my collection. (I couldn't make it without you!)

For my relatively good health and somewhat sane peace of mind. (or at least that's my story... and I'm sticking to it!)

For my dad's discipline and keen sense of humor, and my mom's patience and consideration.

I am thankful I had parents that loved each other and worked together, to mold me into who I am today.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!

Whether you're celebrating your holiday with a house full, or just a few... take a moment to look around the room. Savor the moment... and count your blessings.

What are you thankful for?

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - WHAT'S THE BUZZ?

2011-11-21T06:18:00.000-06:00

Harley and I have been hunting new roads and trails that lets us play in our Jeep the way Jeeps are meant to be played with. Last Saturday, we were in the woods away from all other traffic, enjoying the comfortable temperatures of fall when Harley spotted this huge wasp nest.

WHAT'S THE BUZZ??

It was the biggest wasp nest I've ever seen! We sat there and watched it for a while to see if it was still active. Harley had this big idea to cut it down and take it home with us. Although we both agreed that this would look cool hanging in our backyard, neither one of us was willing to go tap it to see if it was full of bees!!

We had the machete, but we didn't have any way of wrapping it up or carrying it. I think we'll visit that place again, armed with wasp spray and a plastic garbage bag. Probably not the smartest plan I've ever had, but certainly the most daring. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I guess I'll be like Paul Harvey next week and give you all... "the rest of the story!"

Have a great week everybody!

Bee Keeper Wannabe,
Lady R

GOIN' HUNTIN'

2011-11-19T08:10:00.000-06:00

Today is such a nice fall day, I think we'll go huntin'... for tire killers!!

We found an awesome road to practice our 4X4 skills. We just have to watch out for those dangerous predators of rubber! I'll let ya know if we find some!

Whether your on two... or four... Let's ride!! Have a great Saturday everybody!!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - PROSTITUTES AND FOOTBALL PLAYERS

2011-11-18T06:36:00.000-06:00

PROSTITUTES AND FOOTBALL PLAYERS

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some dummy wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this nice gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Alabama, sir." the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Alabama?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and football players there."

"Really?" replied the manager. "My wife is from Alabama."

"Get outta here!" the boy said, "Who'd she play for?"

(Photo copied from the web)

PIC OF THE WEEK - ON TOP OF REBECCA

2011-11-14T06:26:00.001-06:00

Saturday, Harley and I loaded up the puppies and took a topless Jeep up to the Talladega National Forest. It was a gorgeous fall day with sunny skies and temps hoovering in the mid 60's. We had all terrain fun with our four wheels and saw some great fall colors to boot!

ON TOP OF REBECCA

(sung to the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey")
On top of Rebecca,
All covered with trees.
Look how my Jeep matches,
With all of these leaves.

What else were you thinking?? Hmmmmmmm...???

REBECCA MOUNTAIN

Rebecca Mountain joins up with Horn Mountain as they serve as foothills to their bigger brother, Mt.Cheaha, which is Alabama's highest point.

PEEK-A-BOO VIEW

I just love crawling through the forest and creeping our way through God's beautiful creation. The peek-a-boo views are worth every effort that it takes to get here.

I have more to share and pictures to show, but for now... have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - HUMOR IN UNIFORM

2011-11-11T06:54:00.001-06:00

Today is Veteran's Day... the day to honor and remember all the men and women who served (and are still serving) in our Nation's Armed Forces. So to all of them... THANK YOU!

Usually, my Veteran's Day posts are more somber, but since today's holiday fell on a Friday, (my "Funny" day), I decided to let our guys and gals in uniform show you the lighter side of military life. It can get pretty intense for them sometimes and you just have to grab your fun however and whenever you can. I found these pics on CrookedBrains blog and the joke came from the Reader's Digest's "Humor In Uniform".

RETIRED NAVY ADMIRAL
A retired Navy admiral, my father, began a second career working in a bank. One morning, while he prepared his desk for the day, he was approached by a young officer from the nearby Naval base.

“Sorry, but this department isn’t open yet,” Dad said.

“But its nine o’clock!” protested the officer.

My father didn’t look at his watch. Instead, he surveyed his customer’s uniform.

“Ensign,” he snapped, “I’ll decide when it’s nine o’clock!”
~Susan N. Bolinger

BATTER UP!

GONE FISHING

TARGET PRACTICE

Because their sacrifice for our freedom is never a laughing matter, we chose to remember them with respect and honor. However, we all know... laughter is the best medicine.

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - COTTON

2011-11-07T07:10:00.000-06:00

No... that's not snow... it's cotton! It's harvest time around here for cotton and I was able to get a couple good snaps of a typical (albeit a bit on the small side) cotton field before it was picked clean of it's treasure.

COTTON

I wish I was in the land of cotton,
Old times they are not forgotten;
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land.

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

2011-11-04T07:07:00.000-05:00

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
Warning: Today's funny is for ladies only. Sorry guys, you may just want to close your eyes... don't say I didn't warn you!

I had a flat tire yesterday, so I got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them, and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. The cars started slowing down to look at my life-like men, which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road.

Unfortunately, traffic started backing up. Everybody is honking their horns and waving like crazy. I couldn't worry about all that, I had a flat tire to change.

It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me and said... "What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I responded calmly.

"Well", he continued, "what are those cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know... So I told him,

"Helloooooo... those are my Emergency Flashers!"

Woooo Hoooo!!

REMEMBERING MY DAD

2011-11-03T13:50:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to take some time today to remember my dad. It will be two years this coming February since he passed away, and not a day goes by that I don't have some thought of him. Going through the year of "firsts" was terrible, but today being his second birthday in heaven, it feels good to be able to remember him and laugh over stories of him (which there are many, trust me!).

For me, my dad was my strength, my motivator, my provider... my hero. He was a firm believer in the motto..."spare the rod, spoil the child", but through it all, I always felt his love. I'm very proud of the person I am today and I owe it all to him and my mom. He was a man who lived as though family was the most important thing in his life. It's amazing what that feels like.

To the man who started it all... my first motorcycle ride (I've shared this before, but here it is again).

And my most favorite picture of all, (probably because it's the last picture I have of me and him together) New Year's Eve 2009.

RIP Papa J - November 3, 1938 - February 20, 2010.
Thank you dad... for all you've done for me. Happy Birthday!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - GHOSTS OF HALLOWEEN'S PAST

2011-10-31T05:46:00.000-05:00

GHOSTS OF HALLOWEEN'S PAST

Freddy Fudpucker and his Zombie.

They've been know to hang around good folks, but they can be a strange pair. Best to stay clear of them. I understand that the Zombie can get pretty... spooky! (That's her story and she's stickin' to it!)

Be afraid... be very afraid! Muwahahahahahaha!

Be safe and watch out for the kids! Let's keep Halloween fun!

Lady R

Author's note: Be sure and check out my Friday's post BOO!! WHAT SCARES YOU? Do you have a favorite Halloween memory?

BOO!! WHAT SCARES YOU!!

2011-10-28T06:35:00.002-05:00

Halloween is upon us! That's right folks, we are just days away from the annual invasion of ghosts, goblins, and little Lady Gaga's! Okay... throw in some princesses and cowboys too, cause they'll be right there, with the witches and warlocks, scaring the crap out of the neighborhood cats and making all the dogs crazy.

"Trick or Treat! Smell my feet... give me something good to eat!"

Truth is, I love Halloween. It's one of my favorite holidays because I get to play dress up. Adult Halloween parties can be a blast, but I think I get more enjoyment out of seeing all the kiddos. Even if I'm not going anywhere but to the front door (11 thousand times!) I'll often dress up to make coming to my house a bit more interesting for the little beggars. Working for a dentist has great advantages. He makes great fangs and there's nothing funnier than watching a kids eyes grow wide with uncertainty when he sees those sharp points peeking out from under my lip. Muwahahahahahaha!

I wonder... what is your favorite Halloween memory?

Harley and I know a married couple who host a Halloween party ever year. This is always grand annual event for them and there is usually a big crowd that looks forward to this and everybody comes decked out in some of the best costumes I've ever seen. The refreshments were always fun because our hostess would label everything to fit the mood. Pigs in a blanket were called mummy fingers, meatballs were monkey brains, and spinach dip would be marked as bat shit. (Yeah... I'll take some of that!)

It was back in the late 80's when Leather Face made his comeback in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. The party was in full swing with drinking and dancing and some of the prize producing games had already begun. We were wall to wall with merry makers when all of a sudden the front door slammed opened (that's what happens when the door gets pushed open with such force that it crashes loudly into the inside wall) and in came Leather Face... wielding an extremely loud chainsaw over his head and yelling at the top of his lungs.

Haaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! (and the chainsaw goes...) Bbrrraaaaaaaaa, bbrrraaaaaaaa, braa, braa, braa!!

Mayhem ensued!! It was a sea of assholes and elbows trying to escape the terror. Drinks went flying, women were crying and men screamed like little girls. I think we even had a few pissers, but I can't be certain. It was pretty wild! Thankfully, our hostess is a party throwing professional so she had already cleared her home of valuable breakables, so a busted out screen door at the back of the house ended up being the only casualty. (Besides a few broke fingernails and a poke in the eye!)

It was quickly revealed to us that there was no actual chain on the chain saw, but it still took over an hour for everybody to settle down enough to get the party back to a somewhat normal gathering. Needless to say, ol' Leather Face won the "Best Costume" prize for that year. Imagine that!

So... what is your favorite Halloween memory?
Lady R

P. S. For all my readers who thought they weren't going to get their FRIDAY FUNNY... here it is!

FRIDAY FUNNY - I DO

(photo taken from the web)
No... this wasn't a costume contest. It was their real wedding picture! TRICK OR TREAT!

PIC OF THE WEEK - BLANKET OF BEAUTY

2011-10-24T06:26:00.000-05:00

Back in the fall of '09, Harley and I rode the Glides up to Chattanooga, TN for a family vacation to celebrate his Stepmother's 70th birthday. We had really pretty weather during ride, it was just cold as hell! You can read more about that trip in my post "To Ride... Or Not To Ride. Is That Even A Question?"

I was able to capture these great pictures from the deck of our rental cabin, right on the Tennessee River.

BLANKET OF BEAUTY

Harley and I have been back up in that area a couple of times since then. It's one of our favorite places to ride. We nearly froze our butts off on our return trip though... it was 35 degrees freezing the morning we left to come back home! Brrrrrrrr!!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE SAVINGS PLAN

2011-10-21T07:19:00.001-05:00

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would
have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus...

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!

Happy Friday y'all!!

Lady R

GLIDER RIDER WELCOMES YOU TO... SOUTHERN COMFORT

2011-10-19T08:29:00.000-05:00

Just how does a mid western Iowa girl end up living in the south? Well, she did exactly what her momma did (she grew up in Wyoming)... falls in love with a sailor and moves far away from home!

Actually, the moving away part came first, when I enlisted into the Navy and went to Orlando, Florida for boot camp. That's where I first met Harley. While in boot camp, they pair up two female units with two male units and they are considered your "brother and sister" units as we all go through our training together. That just means every time we eat at the chow hall, perform calisthenics on the field, march, worship on Sundays or just whatever... you'll usually do these types of activities with your brother and sister units.

During meals, Harley and one of his buddies would come over and sit with me and my bunk mate, Darlene every time he got the chance. Seems he was smitten on her, but she had her eyes set on some other dude with short hair. Pfffttt... Ain't that just the shit? Anyway, being raised in Iowa (where they do a great job of talking normally), I was fascinated with this stranger spewing a foreign language from his tongue.

"Hey y'all."

What the hell did he say?? My pal, Darlene, who was from Tennessee says to me... "he said hi."

"Oooohh." I responded in my Iowan long "o" fashion, to which she looked at me like I was the strange one. Good grief, I thought he was talking about that stuff horses eat!

And so it goes. Before long I realized that if you were fix'in to do something, you didn't really need tools, you just needed to be ready. I don't have to worry about ever walking anywhere, cause someone can carry you anywhere you want to go. (don't worry... there is a vehicle involved!) And soda is not just for baking. Speaking of sodas... they don't sell pop in the south. Just sayin'...

Well, to cut to the chase, we all (or most of us anyway) made it through boot camp hell and were soon disbursed into several different directions to our perspective "A" schools or duty stations. I had chosen the dental field so after a short leave back home to Iowa so my parents could see that I survived my first leg of my Naval journey, I was off to San Diego, California. Guess who I should run into on my first day there? Yep... that foreign speaking southern boy (whom I now affectionately refer to as Harley)!

I walked up to him when I spotted him and said, "Hi! Remember me?" He just looked at me and grinned from ear to ear and said, "Some others are goin' over yonder to the Enlisted Club. We could go meet 'em... yon't to??" I looked at him a moment and reminded him that he was after my bunk mate, the last I heard. He gave me a cockeyed grin and looked at me with the sweetest blue eyes and said... "I thought you were a foreigner."

And the rest is history! A year or so later, I married that southern boy and after we played sailor for awhile, we settled down right here in the sunny south... a thousand miles away from home. Just like my momma! Oh, well... she got 50 happy years out of her sailor before he left this world. I've got a long way to go yet, but after 31 years... I 'm not doing too bad!

Adjusting to life in the south has not been terrible. There is a great reference to help you along in this process in the form of a book titled, "How To Speak Southern" by Steve Mitchell. It's a really great read and totally reliable. The heat took a little getting used to, and I miss the snow at Christmas! However, as far as riding motorcycles and playing on the lakes, living here has been awsome!! For the last 8 years of our riding days, we've been able to ring in the new year... on the Glides! How cool is that?

Glider Rider is sad to bow out, but Southern Comfort is more than willing to step up and take it from here. This is the same blog with all my archived posts still intact, I'm just giving my blog the freshening up it desperately needed. Stay tuned for more tales from Southern Comfort.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - FINDING YOUR POT OF GOLD

2011-10-17T05:57:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, while Harley and I were exploring in our new Jeep, we drove past the Kilby Correctional Facility, one of the maximum security prisons not too far from our home. We noticed this rainbow after a brief storm blew through, and even though I've gotten many great rainbow pics before, my sick sense of humor just couldn't leave this one alone. Kind of ironic, isn't it?

irony n. a manner of speaking or writing in which the meaning literally expressed is the opposite of the meaning intended and which aims at ridicule, humor or sarcasm.

FINDING YOUR POT OF GOLD
The state of Alabama has 7 State Prisons and 2 Federal Prison Camps, so it's not unusual for us to pass one of these facilities when we venture out of the city limits in any direction, since most of them are near Mongtomery. For some of these poor dudes, chasing rainbows to obtain their pot of gold didn't turn out so well.

I'm pretty sure I would hate prison life.

I've often wondered what goes through their minds when Harley and I would pass by on our Glides (which we did... often!) and they would be hanging on the fence... looking... watching... dreaming.

Freedom! Freedom! How I wish it were I... freedom!

Have a nice week everybody! Ride free!

Lady R

** Author's note: Be sure to check out yesterday's post and don't be surprised if things look a little different soon. GLIDER RIDER is getting a new makeover and a new title! Stay tuned...

CHANGES ARE COMING!!

2011-10-16T10:27:00.001-05:00

It's time! I've been toying with the idea of changing things up a bit, and after almost 4 years of blogging, I figured now was as good a time as any. When I started this blog, it was all about motorcycles and riding. Being able to share my passion with others, while sharing where I lived, has allowed me to show you all just how beautiful our sweet home Alabama really is.

Our lives are always changing, however, and after the summer I've had, I've decided that I can either point this blog in another direction, or close shop. Well, I don't want to quit writing, nor do I want to lose touch with my blogging friends, so...

I'm giving the GLIDER RIDER a much needed facelift and a new name!

Don't fret now! I still have a hoard of motorcycle related pictures and experiences I want to share, but I'm also planning to expand my blog content to include other exciting "adventures" as well. Before we acquired our two motorcycles, we used to have a pontoon boat that kept us on the water every weekend. Trying to camp on it with two giant sized German Shepherds always proved to be a mistake... that we never learned from. Before we had a pontoon boat, we used to "tear up" some woods in our little '78 Ford Courier, jumping ditches and dodging quicksand, as we tried our damnedest to beat that truck to death. We lived in Puerto Rico for three years where we got to spend Christmases on the beach, but had to share our house with lizards the size of alligators!

Now... I have a Jeep. I've never owned a Jeep before and within the first few miles of getting to know this vehicle, I quickly realized that this was going to allow me to tap into a whole 'nuther avenue of "fun times". And it goes topless! All I can say about that is... Woo Hooooo!!

I know some of you look forward to the Pic of the Week on Mondays and my weekly Friday Funny, so that will not change. Bringing you every day life in a Wanda Sykes kind of way, however, will be my new goal. I hope you'll all find my blog to be even more entertaining than before, and I look forward to your continuing comments.

Stay tuned folks. Lady R's... "Southern Comfort" launches her new look later this week.

Southern Comfort...

Where the Belles are Southern and the 'Necks are Red!

Y'all come back now... ya hear?
Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE DENTAL VISIT

2011-10-14T06:26:00.000-05:00

The man says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in a hurry! My two buddies are in my truck waiting for us to go bass fishing, so forget about the anesthetic. I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the bad tooth, and be done with it!"

Noticing how surprised the dentist was at his request, the man explained, "We have our feeders set to go off in thirty minutes. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"

The dentist thinks, "Wow, this is brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it?"

The man turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth, honey, and show him."

Have a nice weekend everybody! Yee Haw!!

Lady R

Author's note: Christmas is right around the corner you know. Be sure and let me know if anybody wants to order the "Duct Tape Push-up Bra" for the sweetheart on their list.

PIC OF THE WEEK - TRANQUILITY

2011-10-10T06:04:00.000-05:00

This pic was taken last year around this time at one of our favorite resting stops, Hatchet Creek. I know I've posted pics of this area before, but it's always so peaceful and quiet here. I decided it will be okay to share it once again.

TRANQUILITY
I looked up the word tranquility in the dictionary. It said... the stage or quality of being tranquil.

So... (of course I did!)
Tranquil - adj., free from agitation or perturbation. Peaceful.

I agree... and that's our lesson for the day. Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

... AND THEY CALL ME MAXINE

2011-10-09T10:41:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite character's is Maxine. She's refreshingly honest, quick witted, and sassy as hell. I've always said that I want to be just like her when I grow up. I guess I've done just that.

When we bought our Jeep, we were told by many, that it was just like owning a motorcycle. The vehicle was just the beginning... accessories an add-ons to break the bank, will soon follow. They were not kidding! We already bought a soft top for it (ordered that the day we drove it off the lot... cha-ching!) and my eyes continue to dance with excitement as I skim through the pages of Mopar's Jeep candy catalog. I didn't realize how much cool stuff there was to buy for a Jeep!

Never having owned convertible before, I'm all about riding around with the top down and taking off to the woods. I just have to be very careful with sun exposure. I have a skin condition called Rosacea, so with that in mind, my first piece of Jeep gear was a hat. Not just any hat mind you, but a really cool "outdoorsy" kind of hat. Something that said... adventure! I had ball caps galore, and fancy dress up Derby hats, but I needed something that would not only keep the sun off my face, but could also withstand the attacks of dropping do do, and the ability to stay on my head during extreme wind conditions. I thought I had the perfect solution. I told Harley I wanted a fishing hat.

So, on our first topless outing, we stopped in at Camo Country in Wetumpka, a great little camping supply store stocked with everything from boots to hats and lots in between. I walked in... shopped... paid for my purchase and walked out smiling... in less than 2.5 minutes. How many women do you know can do that??

Back in the Jeep, I plopped my new hat on my head and asked Harley how I looked. He studied me for a moment, stifled a good laugh and said... "What took you so long?"

Well, for the rest of the day, my hat served it's purpose. We had a great time riding around the countryside in our topless Jeep, and I avoided sunburn while snapping pictures of our favorite roads. I was very pleased with my new prize.

That following Monday, while talking with my co-workers about how we spent our weekends, I made a comment about getting my hat for the topless Jeep rides. They all froze at the same time and gave me this look. You know... the kind of look that made me wonder if I had broccoli in my teeth. Or worse yet, a booger hangin' off my nose! I'm the oldest of my co-workers and the only one without teenagers at home to supervise my sense of fashion. I'm also the only one who doesn't really give two shits about all that anyway, but that's beside the point. I like to be different, and as long as I'm not taken for a total freak, I'll continue to march to the beat of my own drummer. With that said, I looked at their bemused faces and told them... "I'll show you. Before the day is over, you'll all want one!!"

So I did... and they laughed! They took one look at me and my hat and said... "You look just like Maxine!"

Maxine... my heroine!! To be able to go through life, doing what pleases you, without the shackles of worrying what others think sounds mighty nice. I've discovered that the older I get, the easier that becomes.

So... thank you ladies! You've made my day. And in the words of my role model and favorite lady, Maxine...

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - HOW TO GET MEN TO WASH THEIR HANDS

2011-10-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

I stole this from a friend's FB page... who got it from a friend... who got it from a friend... who got it from, yet another friend... you know how it goes. (Thanks K!) I thought it was just too funny not to share.

HOW TO GET MEN TO WASH THEIR HANDS
Harley was looking over my shoulder when I was posting this pic, and he said... "I'd go to the one on the far end. She looks ready." Buwahahahahaha!!

Have a great weekend everybody!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - AUTUMN CONFETTI

2011-10-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

Autumn is my favorite time to ride. The air feels cooler and the leaves start falling, coloring the ground with red and yellow confetti. Laying calm and still along the highway, they swirl to life when a gusty breeze from passing travelers pick them up, allowing them to flutter around before floating to a new resting spot.

While following Harley on the Glide, I could watch the leaves twirl into a frenzy around him as he passed by. I used to laugh and tell him it looked like he was dancing with leaves!

Come on... follow me down this little country road and enjoy the Fall!

AUTUMN CONFETTI

There... wasn't that nice?

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE KNOB

2011-09-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

Author's note: This is such an oldie... but still a goodie! Have a great weekend everybody!

The Knob

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob". A knob could be surgically placed at the top of the woman's head, yet small enough to hide under her hair. It could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob".

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

She said, "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems."

"First", she continued, "I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid
of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those
aren't bags... those are your breasts."

A grave look of disappointment came over her face and she said...

"Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."

PIC OF THE WEEK - BANDIT AND JOKER

2011-09-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

We have two little guys (Papillions) at home who like the fact the we have a Jeep now. Before, it was all about staying behind and minding the kitties, while Harley and I went out and played on the Glides. But now, all that has changed and they have been going with us when we take off for a day of exploration.

BANDIT
Bandit looks as though he's giving me the "Hurry up mom, we've places to go and sites to see!"

JOKER
"I'm... too sexy for my ears... too sexy for my hair... uh huh."

I use a small insulated bag to pack some treats, their leashes, a water bowl and some water. Believe me... they get very excited when they see me "gathering" their things.

They love going with us these days, but by the time we get close to home...
... they're usually like this. ZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz...

Have a great week everybody!!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD

2011-09-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

(True Story)

George Phillips, an elderly man from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both and the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!

PIC OF THE WEEK - LITTLE RIVER CANYON... AGAIN

2011-09-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

We took the Jeep up to north Alabama during Labor Day and revisited some of our favorite riding roads. I know I've posted pictures of the Little River Canyon before, but I just can't help myself. Hwy. 176 in DeKalb County is not just a great road to ride on, but the awesome views along the way are worth going back for.

LITTLE RIVER
LITTLE RIVER CANYON
It only takes us about three and a half hours to get up to this area from Montgomery, and being nestled in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, this makes this a great place to bring the Jeep and explore roads we never tried while riding the Glides. I was never a big fan of riding on the gravel for long periods of time, but now that's all changed!

I hope everyone had a great weekend and here's to an even better week!

Lady R

CROSSROADS... CHOICES... AND LIFE

2011-09-18T09:30:00.000-05:00

Crossroads... One of my of my favorite things about riding, is coming up on a crossroads and trying to decide which way to go. Unless we had a preplanned destination in mind, Harley and I could spend our days of riding just meandering down unfamiliar roads and trying to find interesting places to share with others. Coming up on a four cornered stop, we'd look one way... then the other... the choice was ours.

Choices... We would take turns deciding, left, right or straight. The fun was in the mystery of it all. Our exploratory adventures often paid off when we'd find a new shortcut, or hidden treasure, but sometimes we could be right back where we started. This was not so bad, as long as you had time on your side and are good at U-turns. I seemed to enjoy those rides the best.

Crossroads and choices... They are not just on our roads and highways. We deal with them daily, in our everyday lives as well.

Life... From our first breath to our last, good or bad, it happens to us all. For the most part, what we do with our life is up to us, barring any unforeseen circumstances that may alter any previous plans or decisions. Keeping a good attitude and a healthy conscience, goes a long way in experiencing in what most folks would call "a good life". I would like to be able to look back on mine and say I lived life to the fullest and had no regrets.

During our 31 years of marriage so far, Harley and I have been doing exactly that. We've had the pleasure of taking on various challenges and activities allowing us to enjoy our life as a couple while we feed our adventurous spirits. Some experiences have been more rewarding than others and we've waded through our share of trials and tribulations, but for the most part, we are very blessed. Being able to ride motorcycles together for the last 8 years has probably been one of the biggest (of blessings) so far.

As most of you know, my hubby of 31 years went down this past Spring, on Mother's Day Weekend. (See... THE WRECK and DEATH OF A RIDER) We had big plans this year, but our summer has been wrought with hospitals, rehab facilities, and Dr. visits. Oh... and pain. Lots and lots of pain.

I've been by his side for all of it and let me tell you this... it did not look fun! Since his accident took place, I've been able to get in a few little rides, but nothing very spectacular. Commuting to work a few times, and getting out for a ride on my birthday for a couple hours, and that's been about it. Pitiful... but what can I say... that's LIFE!

As I cruised along the highway, that day of my birthday, I wondered what would happen now. I missed Harley, and it felt strange to be out on the road by myself, knowing he was back at the house, laid up on the couch anxiously awaiting my return. I've ridden solo plenty of times before and with other riding friends, but knowing he was out there somewhere on his own Glide, somehow made it okay. It felt very different now... very lost... very... separated.

With all that being said, I found myself at one of these crossroads in life... with choices to contemplate and decisions to make. Believe me when I say, it has been a very disheartening process.

I'm not the kind of person that can leave my loved ones behind. Maybe it's my own undoing, but I've always been that way. We're a team... we do things together... it's been that way for 31 years! The fact that the love of my life has lost his rider spirit, leaves me with the decision to carry on without him, or follow suit and put my riding days to rest. Believe me when I tell you... it has been a very tough pill to swallow, but I've decided to take a break from riding... at least for now.

I don't expect all of you to understand, and I imagine some of you are shaking your head right now as you read this. That's okay... I can accept that. I'm a "live and let live" kind of gal. Those who really know me, know I'm the same person... whether I'm riding or not. The fact remains, no matter how much I love my motorcycle and riding it, I love my husband more. Together we will accomplish many things. I have to believe, when one door closes... another will open.

Good decisions... are often compromised by emotions. ~ Author unknown.

Riding on memories...
Lady R

Author's note:
I realize I've been neglecting my blog lately, but that's because I felt like I was hiding behind a cloak of deceit. Lady Rides-a-lot became Lady Rides-no-more, and I was having a hard time "coming out" about it. Telling you all of my decision not to ride has just lifted the burden of truth resting on my shoulders and I feel free to move forward with... the next chapter. Stay tuned... life goes on!!

FRIDAY FUNNY - A LESSON IN GRAMMAR

2011-09-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

A couple from Tennessee and a couple from the East Coast were seated on an airplane.

The girl from Tennessee being friendly and all said, "So... where y'all from?"

The East Coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from Tennessee sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So... where y'all from, bitch?"

PIC OF THE WEEK - THE COLLECTOR

2011-09-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

Just a little sample of what you might see on the side of the road if you find yourself traveling north on Hwy. 9, somewhere up around Weiss Lake.

THE COLLECTOR
Gas signs and old cars. I think every southern yard should have some... don't you??

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

REMEMBERING 911

2011-09-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe it's been ten years since the tragic events of "911" shook this country.

Please... take some time today to honor and remember our fallen Americans... our heroes.

Josh 1:9............ "Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - WHY TEACHERS DRINK

2011-09-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

Schools all over the country have opened their doors and class has begun, so I've decided to dedicate my Friday Funny to education.

Below are some actual examples of homework and test answers that have been put forth by our children. God Bless our teachers... for they may need it!

And now... for my favorite one yet...

PIC OF THE WEEK - COHUTTA MOUNTAIN IN GEORGIA

2011-09-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

I know this post is a day late, but I didn't come out of the woods and off the mountain till yesterday and then I chose to nap my long weekend to a close.

Our summer was a little interrupted by unforeseen events, so when Harley and I had the chance to head for the hills for Labor Day... we did exactly that. We rented a cabin up on Lookout Mountain in Mentone, AL and rode the Jeep over to Georgia to explore in the Chattahoochee National Forest on some awesome fire roads.

COHUTTA MOUNTAIN IN GEORGIA
We found FR 17 that took us to the top on a sandy gravel interpretation of the "Tail of the Dragon", complete with very steep drops offs and no guard rails.

Just to give you an idea... if you were to step in the grass on the left side of this road, you would be looking down at a 90 to 100 foot drop... at least!

It was wickedly scary in a few places, but we had a wonderful weekend and very relaxing one at that!
I hope you all had a great holiday... I know I did!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - FUNERALS

2011-09-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking... of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist".

The proctologist fainted.

PIC OF THE WEEK - INFINITY AND BEYOND

2011-08-29T06:00:00.001-05:00

I just love looking down a long span of railroad tracks. Don't ask me why, but I've always imagined myself being able to ride my Glide down them and slice through the country side without anybody else around me. Also, I think they are a thing of beauty in themselves.

INFINITY AND BEYOND
This tired piece of rail runs through an old abandoned town in Lowndesboro, AL where cotton and other southern commodities were loaded up and sent out on rail cars.

I'm trying to find out more about this cool little place, cause I have some more awesome pics to share with you.

In the meantime... have a great week everybody!!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - COWBOY BUD

2011-08-26T07:00:00.001-05:00

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as he stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're an aide in the Obama Administration", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter....

... this is a herd of sheep."
"Now give me back my dog."

PIC OF THE WEEK - BLOGGER TRIPLICITY... PLUS MOM

2011-08-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

While in Iowa helping my mom celebrate her big birthday, I had the honor and privilege of getting to meet, and hang out with two other amazing motorcycle bloggers; D-Day from Musings of a Contemplative Biker, and Stephanie, The Iowa Harley Girl.

BLOGGER TRIPLICITY... PLUS MOM!

Me, Dean, Stephanie and Mom

I started blogging four years ago and became friends with both of these inspiring and entertaining authors almost immediately. I was truly humbled that they would travel over three hours (for each of them!) just to spend their Sunday afternoon with me and my crazy family!

I'm really glad they did, cause we had a great time getting to laugh and carry on... in person! Fortunately, Dean and Steph don't scare easily so all was good. lol! Thank you to Miss K (Dean's lovely girlfriend) who gladly took our pic for us. I'm so glad to finally meet her too. You see... (whispering...) "she's one of my Mahong Trails Companions!"

I hope that when I go back to Iowa for Christmas, we'll be able to enjoy each others company once again. A night on the town would be just what Santa ordered!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

DEATH OF A RIDER

2011-08-21T11:00:00.013-05:00

There was no funeral, no church service, not even a token memorial to mark the end. Yet, grief and mourning ripped through the rider as the darkness of death surrounded his "spirit".

He was not ready to die. He feared it and fought it... at least to the extent any rider tries to. Coming to the realization that there is something out there, bigger than him, throws him into yet another spiritual turmoil.

Wondering (why?)... his body moves slowly and not without suffering, as he tries to negotiate himself into a more comfortable position.

Most have called him lucky and many remind him of second chances not often given, but yet he lingers in the vast sea of uncertainty. Questions without answers bind his soul from feeling free. "What did I do... What did they do... Just what the hell happened?" Trying to remember the accident left him frustrated beyond measure, as there is nothing in his mind to give the rider comfort... or shame. Just the lost hole of time, and the pain to bear with it.

Bruises fade and bones heal yet, the rider continues to struggle. The demons in his mind won't allow his "spirit" to soar free and while the rider is lost without the road, the man is still hungry for life. Seeking new avenues for adventure puts forth a challenge, but allows him to keep his eyes on the big picture. The man fights for survival in the abyss of self pity while finding comfort and strength in the support of his "foundation".

Coming to terms with difficult decisions can leave a man tired and broken and somehow, the promise of life still feeds him. The rider suffered immense loss, but the man has been spared. His desire to grow old and find happiness will eventually expel those demons and his "spirit" will find a way, once again, to fly free.

The man feels the grief... the sadness... and the loss... that this death brings.

The rider in him has died... but the man has not.

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - WHAT IS THE MEANING OF COURAGE?

2011-08-19T06:01:00.009-05:00

What is the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a Bull in a bullfight without any weapon?
Is it to undertake a cross-country auto trip in a Chrysler Corporation car?
Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?
Is it to undergo open-heart surgery knowing that the surgeon has a drinking problem?
Is it to practice free fall parachuting?
Is it to perform a root-canal on yourself?
Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting, or canoeing down the Niagra Falls?

Bullshit... those are nothing!

THIS my friend is COURAGE!!!

Last picture I have of my dog "Lucky"

PIC OF THE WEEK - MIND BOGGLING PHOTO MANIPUTLATIONS

2011-08-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm still in Iowa, and yesterday I had the privilege of meeting a couple of long standing blogger friends. The Iowa Harley Girl, Stephanie, and Dean, author of Musings of a Contemplative Biker came to Dubuque to join me and my family for the celebration of my mom's 70th birthday. It was an awesome day and I can't wait to share with you. However, I'm not able to download my pictures here until I return home, so in the meantime, I will post some amazing photos that I have acquired through email.

How's this for some great road shots!

Mind-Boggling Photo Manipulations... by Erik Johansson

Erik J is a 21 year old Swedish photographer....pretty amazing stuff, dont'cha think?

I'm going to miss this nice weather I've had the pleasure of relishing in as I leave today and head back to the furnace I call home. Hopefully, I won't encounter any extreme drop offs or have to avoid any flying people! Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - FIVE NUNS IN A BAR

2011-08-12T06:57:00.007-05:00

FIVE NUNS IN A BAR

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his bar stools, which were the talk of the fashionable Eastside neighborhood. All five Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.

GIVE US A SENSE OF HUMOR LORD,
AND GIVE US THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE,
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE,
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLK. AMEN

Happy Friday to you all and have a safe and wonderful weekend!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - STURGIS AND THE THREE B'S

2011-08-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

As a child, I've been through Sturgis, SD a million times when we would travel to Cody, WY to see my western cousins, but I've never had the pleasure of visiting there during a rally. My brothers, however, were more fortunate than I and had an audacious time a couple years ago when they both went together. Lucky dogs! In order to set the mood for our rally attending brothers and sisters, I decided to honor the mecca of all rallies and post a couple pics from their experience. I bring you Sturgis... and the three B's.

BIKES

BABES

BUFFALO (no Sturgis rally is complete without them!)
So be on the look out and ride safe!

Also... for all of us poor saps that stayed home, check out these links that show you all the action, live! Web cams are set up so we can share in the fun... at a glance. Check them out!

STURGIS RALLY WEB CAM

WALL DRUG WEB CAM

I'll have to say this about those cams... not a lot goes on up there at 5:00 in the morning. Ha!

Godspeed to you all... and may you have the time of your lives!!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - LARGEST WOODPECKER ON RECORD

2011-08-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

LARGEST WOODPECKER ON RECORD!
Holy peckers Batman... look at the wood on that one!!

Hope you all have a great weekend and for those of you headed out to Sturgis... Ride safe, ride fun, and ride on! (watch for woodpeckers!) Can't wait to hear the stories!!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - FLAGG MOUNTAIN

2011-08-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

Harley and I went 'sploring again Saturday and took the Jeep up across Flagg Mountain in Coosa County. I know you western folks don't consider our little foothills mountains, but they're still fun to ride on and the views aren't too bad either.

FLAGG MOUNTAIN
Taking to the woods and driving on these dirt and gravel roads have been opening new doors of adventure for us and I can't say I haven't been having a good time doing it! Maybe it's just me, but even with 4 wheels under me, I'm still drawn to great road shots! Allow me...

We found a couple new shortcuts, or longcuts... depending on who you ask, and I look forward to the changing seasons from my new viewpoint up on Flagg Mountain. The peace and quiet will be compromised during hunting season, however, when the occasional gun shot pierces the air, and yet another Bambi bites the dust.

Hope you all had a great weekend and here's to an even better week!

Ride free, ride safe... and ride on!! (or just drive if you have to) Just get out... and live!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - NEVER CHOKE AT A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH

2011-07-29T05:25:00.010-05:00

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, "Ya know, I heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"

NEVER CHOKE AT A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH!

FOR BOBSKOOT... JEEPERS PEEPERS

2011-07-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Just a quick little addition to my previous post. Bobskoot left a comment on my Chattahoochee State Park post, asking where my Jeep was? The funny thing was... I was thinking like a blogger when I took this...
I didn't post it at first because... I wasn't on my motorcycle. What the hell, these ARE my wheels these days, so... here ya go Bobskoot!

How 'bout a nice action shot!
I'm really enjoying this new addition... I think everybody should have one!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - CHATTAHOOCHEE STATE PARK

2011-07-25T06:00:00.001-05:00

Harley's still on the mend and we needed new lottery tickets, so we loaded up the puppies and explored some back roads in the Jeep Saturday while we made our way to the Florida and Georgia State lines.

We found this hidden little treasure buried deep in the most South East corner of the state on Hwy. 95, where Alabama, Georgia and Florida touch.

CHATTAHOOCHEE STATE PARK
It's not a very big park and you have to drive almost a mile along a small dirt path to get back to it, but when you do... It was amazingly peaceful and quiet and I couldn't figure out why this place wasn't crowded, when I suddenly realized I was being attacked! It seems like swarms of mosquitoes were upon us in no time! No wonder it seems empty... the blood suckers have eaten all the people!

Look... you could even have your own personal beach front campsite! What else could a girl want?

In spite of the fact that you need one giant can of "Off"... this place was beautiful.

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - ROLLING THUNDER

2011-07-22T05:35:00.011-05:00

"Rolling Thunder began in 1987 as a demonstration to bring awareness to the plight of prisoners of war (POW) and to those missing in action (MIA). Rolling Thunder originated when four Vietnam Veterans, exercising the First Amendment "Right to Petition and Assemble", organized the first group of 2500 motorcycles to ride through the streets of Washington, DC. This first Rolling Thunder run was made in an attempt to petition the government to take responsibility for the soldiers that were abandoned after the Vietnam War ended.

Today over 250, 000 motorcycles ride during the Rolling Thunder Memorial Day weekend observance, held each year in our nation’s capital. Rolling Thunder has evolved to be not only a demonstration for the POW/MIA issue but also a demonstration of patriotism and respect for soldiers and veterans from all wars."

Sarah Palin at ROLLING THUNDER...

The First Lady was there too...

RIDE ON SISTA!!

GOODBYE OLD FRIEND... HELLO NEW BABY!!

2011-07-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

I know this blog is about motorcycles and riding, but today it's about trucks. I wanted to announce the arrival of our newest family member, but I felt like I needed to honor and old friend.

Saying goodbye is tough... especially when that old friend served you well and never let you down.

Goodbye Big Blue...
I'll miss you... Serve your new master well.

(This is where you can bow your heads for a moment of silence.) Amen!

Say hello to my new baby...
They call this "Mango Tango", but it kind of reminds me of another brand I like.

This hard top will be great during the colder months, but we've ordered a soft top for it as well. I certainly plan to check this bad boy out... topless. I can't wait!

4X4= fun!!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - COMFORT ROAD

2011-07-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

You've heard of comfort foods before? You know... the foods that make us feel emotionally better upon consumption? Well... how about a comfort road?

COMFORT ROAD
This road calls to you and says... "Come ride with me... I'll take you away from it all."

Ya know what... I do believe it can. Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

P.S. BONUS PIC (for Webster)

JUST SAY AHHHHH...
Stay tuned for more!

FRIDAY FUNNY - LUCKY LOTTO WINNER

2011-07-15T06:18:00.005-05:00

LUCKY LOTTO WINNER

A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won Lotto?"

She says, "I'd take my half of the money and leave you."

"Excellent," he replies,"I won 12 bucks, here's $6 - now pack your shit and get out!"

PIC OF THE WEEK - THE BOYS FROM FORT PAYNE

2011-07-11T05:31:00.011-05:00

Last year, Harley and I spent our 4th of July vacation up around Ft. Payne riding around in north Alabama, home of the county music group... "Alabama". I'm not much of a country music fan, but we did experience a three year stretch early in our marriage when we were hit with the "twang and swoon" stick and listened to a lot of country music... Alabama being one of our favorite groups. You can imagine my delight when I got to have my picture taken with Randy and the boys!

THE BOYS FROM FORT PAYNE
Here's me... hanging out with the drummer. I think his name was Mark. He was a little stiff, but still a really nice fella!

Have a great week everybody!

FRIDAY FUNNY - HOW TO IDENTIFY A METH LAB

2011-07-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

HOW TO IDENTIFY A METH LAB...

A Law Enforcement Officer I know has been approached by several people lately wanting to know how to identify a Meth Lab.

Below are pictures of four Labs. I think it's pretty obvious which one is the Meth Lab.

I hope this helps.

PIC OF THE WEEK - PATRIOTIC HARLEY DAVIDSON

2011-07-04T07:04:00.015-05:00

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

I found this beauty while surfing the web and just had to share it with ya.

PATRIOTIC HARLEY DAVIDSON
Fred Rivera and his 2003 Electra Glide “Screaming Eagle” Harley-Davidson is a rolling tribute, showing his support to the men and women in uniform.

He explains every part of his paint job on the Bushtec Connect web site in a guest post. Pretty cool bike... go check it out here.

Hope you're having a safe and exciting Independence Day! Have a nice week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE HUNTING LESSON

2011-07-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field." An hour later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son.

"What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."

The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat, and I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching."

"But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' Well, I guess I just panicked!"

THE WRECK

2011-06-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

Saturday, May 7th, 1:45 p.m... I got the worst phone call I could ever get.

It was my husband's aunt, asking if I was at home. Sensing that something is wrong, my first thought was; she's calling me about Mama A, Harley's mom. Crying through her words she said, "It's Harley... he's been in a bad wreck." WHOOSH!! In an instant, I felt the blood drain from my face and my legs turned to water. It was Mother's Day weekend and I already knew he had planned to ride his Glide up to Sylacauga that afternoon to take his mama out for lunch.

All I could say was "OMG... OMG!" Fear washed over me, and I felt panic set in. I questioned her almost angrily about his condition, but she had no information yet, other than the fact that he was being transported by ambulance to the trauma hospital in Montgomery. As I tried to sort out the compiling thoughts bouncing around in my head, I had to swallow hard to fight the sudden nausea that rolled in my churning stomach. I begged her find out the extent of his injuries and call me back. I told her, "I'm on my way home... right now!" I forced my panic to take a back seat while my mind raced, trying to figure out what to do next. You see, I was about to hostess the annual Kentucky Derby Party that was going to start in about 15 minutes... in Panama City, FL.

Talk about switching gears! I went from the excited anticipation of a festive afternoon with some awesome ladies to, the extreme fear that my life has just changed, and not for the better. My friends sprouted into action as they assured me they will handle the afternoon's activities for me. They also made sure I was calm enough to embark on my three and a half hour drive home to Montgomery. I knew I would be fine. I was on a mission... and that mission was to get home to Harley.

When something like this happens, it's a total interruption of life's momentum. Your world stops, disorients you, and throws you into a living nightmare. Questions without answers flood your brain, and leaves you feeling helpless and lost. About twenty five minutes had passed from the time Auntie M called me, before I got a phone call from an ER nurse at the hospital. I'll have to say, that 25 minute span of time was probably the worst 25 minutes I've experienced yet, in my entire life!

In spite of being in extreme pain, Harley had his senses about him enough to tell the nurse my cell phone number and asked her to call me. It wasn't until that moment that I learned he was stable and was going to live. I had to force back my tears of relief so I could take in what else she was saying. She explained, "So far we know he has four broke ribs, a bruised lung, and some road rash on his left shoulder and elbow." I was able to breath a little easier, but nervousness set in again when she said they were taking more x-rays and doing a CT scan so they could find out the extent of any internal injuries. The damage to his helmet led them to believe he may have suffered some head trauma. Those words alone made my nausea return... it felt like someone just punched me right in the stomach.

Hanging up my cell, there was no holding back my tears now. How bad could it be? He knew enough to ask her to call me... right? I needed to focus on driving... I still had a long way to go.

Running up that old familiar highway (Hwy. 231 north), a route we've done so many times we could practically ride it with our eyes closed, was agonizingly long that afternoon. Trying to go as fast as I could without getting a ticket was quite the challenge and when I needed to stop in Dothan for gas, well... I just wanted to hurry up and get back on the road. Unfortunately, the lack of concentration on my part resulted in my locking my keys in the truck when I went inside to use the facilities. What next?!?!

You can imagine my dismay when I came back out and realized what I had just done! This was NOT the time to be waiting on a locksmith to come open up my truck for my dumbass mistake! Feeling the panic rise up in my stomach again, I looked around as if an answer to my problem was going to come to me out of thin air. By the grace of God, it did! A gentlemen with his family was pumping gas at the unit right behind mine when he noticed I was distressed and asked if he could help me. I must have looked a bit wild eyed as I explained my dilemma, because he told me to calm down, that he may be able to help.

He went to his trunk and returned with a long vinyl wrapped pouch of tools. As he unwrapped this mysterious bundle, I noticed the words printed on the pouch... "Locksmith: Automotive Lockout Kit." It was filled with an assortment of flat bladed tools that I recognized as the right kind of tools to get into almost any vehicle. I cried with relief right then, as I just knew this was going to be the man who would me get back on the road again.

As he worked his magic, he told me he heard me praying while I was pumping gas so he figured I was in some sort of trouble. In my desperation, I hadn't realized I was speaking so loud, but I explained that I was trying to get home to my husband who's just had a motorcycle accident. He told me to keep the faith, that God was listening, and then he revealed to me that he was a deacon in his church. I hugged his neck and offered to pay him something, but he just made me promise to stay safe while I continued my journey to Montgomery. I was back on the road again within five minutes. Yes... God was listening.

Approximately 4 hours after receiving my jarring phone call, I walked into the ER of the hospital. Seeing my sweetheart of 31 plus years laying on a gurney with IV's in his arms and tubes up his nose delivered a mixture of emotions. I was glad he was alive, but my eyes kept darting over him trying to access the damage. His forehead was purple where his helmet dug in and left with him with a bad bruise and a big ol' goose egg, the backs of his hands were gouged and bloody and still covered in road grit, his elbow looked like the ashphalt took off several layers of skin, and he was moaning in pain. He opened his eyes when he heard my voice and said... "hey woman, I had a wreck."

Seven weeks ago... our path in life took a serious detour. I'm thankful that Harley's CT scan's came back normal, but he suffered a concussion, which delivered him a round of daily headaches and dizzy spells. In time, these should go away.

The good thing about time, is that it heals many wounds. A lot has healed since then... and a lot has not. Harley still can't remember the accident and the doctors tell him, he probably won't. According to the accident report, they are basically saying no fault on either party, but if you ask my opinion... Harley got the raw end of the deal.

I'm convinced that wearing a helmet saved my husband's life that day. Ribs can heal, bruises fade, and skin grows back. Your melon, on the other hand, once it goes "POP"... it's popped!

Having an accident might wreck your day... but it doesn't have to wreck your life.

Please... wear safe DOT approved helmets when riding. Someone in your life will be thankful.

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - TALLADEGA MOUNTAIN SKYWAY

2011-06-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

Harley's still healing and hasn't been able to ride, but that's not stopping us! If you can't do it on two... lets try 4... X4 that is!

We were going stir crazy, so we loaded up the puppies and headed for Talladega National Forest. We decided to explore on the Talladega Mountain Skyway that runs along the top of Talladega Mountain.

TALLADEGA MOUNTAIN SKYWAY
It's really nothing more than a fire road, and we came across a few ruts that would have been a bit too challenging on a Glide, but the rewards when you get to the top... speak for themselves.

I love standing by a creek and listening to the sounds of nature. The trickling water, birds chirping, and the occasional buzz of a bee flying past... ahhhhh.

We had so much fun toodling around in the woods... we just may have to do this again!

Have a great week everybody.

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - PARENT OF THE YEAR

2011-06-24T06:20:00.013-05:00

And now... the "PARENT OF THE YEAR AWARD" goes too...

... and you...
... and you too.But the best parents of all are the ones who spend time with their kids during "Family Night".

Here's mom...
... and dad.
Congratulations!!! Next time... get a dog!

PIC OF THE WEEK - HANK WILLIAMS MEMORIAL

2011-06-20T06:11:00.016-05:00

Last Sunday, while riding and showing Flat Wooley around, I took him down by the Hank Williams Memorial in the old Oakwood Cemetery. Since Flat likes music and plays the guitar, I thought it might be a cool place to go.

HANK WILLIAMS MEMORIAL
His wife, Audrey is laid to rest next to him and all his hit songs are engraved into the marble at the base of the memorial. It's a very impressive site, with the large musical notes flanking the headstone and the Rose covered guitars.

His grave gets many visitors throughout the year, but as long as I've lived in Montgomery, I've never seen anyone else here.

Flat Wooley looks a little small sitting next to my Ol' girl, but we had a nice day anyway... I just had to wait for him to catch up a lot! LOL!

I had a great time entertaining him while he was here, but this past Friday came and it was time for him to leave and go see Viking Dave in California. We said our goodbyes, made promises to visit again, then he hopped the mail truck... heading west! He should get there any day now! I can't wait to see what new adventures are in store for our little friend when VD gets a hold of him. Yikes!!

Be sure and visit Flat Wooley as he blogs about his travels. Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE DOG FOOD DIET

2011-06-17T06:06:00.015-05:00

Yesterday, I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn't have a dog but I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I told her that it was a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Watch what you ask retired people... they have all the time in the world.

PIC OF THE WEEK - MOTHER NATURE'S FURY

2011-06-13T07:05:00.014-05:00

Saturday was 5 weeks to the day that Harley had his accident. It was also his birthday and after graduating from all the doctor's restrictions, he finally got his driving privileges back. Woo Hoo! He was a very happy man!

We've been missing the country roads we so often spend our weekends on, so Saturday morning he said... "Let's go for a ride!" I looked at him like he lost his mind, cause I know he's not ready to ride yet, but that didn't stop us. We loaded up in the truck and took off to the country. I'll have to say, it was very different, but I enjoyed the feel of getting back out on the road and enjoying the scenery. Even if it was in our truck!

We found ourselves up around Lake Martin and found some of the destruction that was left by the bad tornadoes Alabama suffered from back in April.

MOTHER NATURE'S FURY

You can see how the path of the storm starts and stops. It was very disheartening to see all the broken trees.
I realized something that day... whether on two or four, we really enjoy riding around the country side. I'm just glad we still can enjoy each other. Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

THE REDNECK AND HIS FERRARI

2011-06-10T07:05:00.011-05:00

A Redneck from Alabama walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000, but he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.

The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a distinguished Alumni from the University of Alabama, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The good ol' Alabama boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"

PIC OF THE WEEK - FOLLOW THE LEADER

2011-06-06T06:05:00.014-05:00

While we were at Thunder Beach several weeks ago, we watched the Kyle and Cody Ives stunt show out at Frank Brown Park. These brothers were pretty good and it was fun to watch what they could do with those bikes.

FOLLOW THE LEADER
It's amazing enough that they jump as high as they do, but to do it one right after the other made it just a little more interesting.

I didn't get any riding in again this weekend. I took my mom to Clarksville, Tn and met my brother there so he could take her the rest of the way home. I miss her already, and I can't begin to thank her enough for all her help these last two weeks. Harley has improved greatly and he has a couple more follow up appointments this week to evaluate if he's ready to drive and such. He's ready to be cut loose even though he's still moving slower than usual.

Hopefully, I can get out and show our traveling guest, Flat Wooley, some of our beautiful state before he gets too restless and wants to move on.

I did hook him up with his own wheels while he's here. Now, I think he's getting antsy to ride... and me too!!

Have a nice week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - DOOR FRAME

2011-06-03T06:58:00.005-05:00

Remember when we were kids, we used to measure our growth on the door frames in our house?

Well, some thing never change...

DOOR FRAME
...or do they?

(That reminds me... I've got to get some hanging baskets for my patio today.)

Have a nice weekend everybody!

Lady R

Flat Wooley Travels: SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

2011-06-02T22:49:00.005-05:00

Seems I'm going to be entertaining a new friend over the next few days. Check it out!

Flat Wooley Travels: SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

Let the games begin! Muwahahahahahaha!!

Lady R

J & P GIFT CARD GIVEAWAY

2011-06-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

Who likes to win prizes? Well, here's your chance to win a $25.00 gift card from J & P Cycles during their summer kick-off promotion. I've been asked to host a contest so one of my lucky readers can win $25.00 to spend on motorcycle parts, motor clothes or other really cool accessories. It's up to me to come up with an interesting way for you to win. Hmmmmmm...

After some serious consideration, I've decided to play... name that bridge. If your a regular reader, you may remember this post.

The first person to comment the correct name of the bridge, you will be the lucky winner of a $25.00 gift card to use at J & P Cycles...the world's largest aftermarket motorcycle parts and accessories superstore!

I'll give you a hint... that's the Mississippi River. Good luck everybody!

Lady R

MEMORIAL DAY PRAYER - 2011

2011-05-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

MEMORIAL DAY PRAYER - 2011

Eternal God,
Creator of years, of centuries,
Lord of whatever is beyond time,
Maker of all species and master of all history --
How shall we speak to you
from our smallness and inconsequence?
Except that you have called us to worship you
in spirit and in truth;
You have dignified us with loves and loyalties;
You have lifted us up with your loving kindnesses.
Therefore we are bold to come before you without groveling
[though we sometimes feel that low]
and without fear
[though we are often anxious].
We sing with spirit and pray with courage
because you have dignified us;
You have redeemed us from the aimlessness
of things' going meaninglessly well.
God, lift the hearts of those
for whom this holiday is not just diversion,
but painful memory and continued deprivation.
Bless those whose dear ones have died
needlessly, wastefully [as it seems]
in accident or misadventure.
We remember with compassion those who have died
serving their countries
in the futility of combat.
There is none of us but must come to bereavement and separation,
when all the answers we are offered
fail the question death asks of each of us.
We believe that you will provide for us
as others have been provided with the fulfillment of
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS... AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Lady R
(Prayer found on the web)

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE FISHIN' TALE

2011-05-27T06:28:00.011-05:00

This guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting on a river bank the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I' ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

PIC OF THE WEEK - HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE DITCH BRIDGE

2011-05-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE DITCH BRIDGE

Sorry this post is so short. Did this on the fly!

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - LOOK-A-LIKES

2011-05-20T06:39:00.006-05:00

LOOK-A-LIKES
Mama always said... eat your vegetables! Even the mushrooms!!

Have a nice weekend everybody!

Lady R

REVZILLA'S MAY GEAR GIVEAWAY

2011-05-17T06:16:00.013-05:00

I meant to give you all the heads up on this months give away contest over at Revzilla a lot earlier, but have no fear... there is still time to enter and win!

If you haven't gone over to their website and filled out your rider's profile, you better go on and do it. It'll give you the chance to win lots of cool stuff through out the year.

Ride on and ride safe!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - BEST BUDDIES

2011-05-16T06:18:00.011-05:00

BEST BUDDIES
This was taken a few years ago when Harley and two of his best buddies were on their annual "boys trip", to the Grand Canyon.

These two guys along with another good friend rode all the way up from Panama City yesterday to see Harley in the Rehab Hospital. It was a great visit and I think it gave Harley a big positive boost in his struggle back to full recovery (which is coming along nicely, I might add!).

When it was time for them to leave, I wheeled Harley outside, so he could watch... and listen... as they rode off. Harley jokingly said... "Watching them boys ride off makes me wanna cry." I just smiled at him and reminded him it won't be long and he'll be back in the saddle again.

He just looked up at me and said... "It's time to go shopping."

Have a nice day!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - LIFE SAVER

2011-05-09T13:41:00.012-05:00

Sorry this is a late post... but I'll be busy for a while... taking care of Harley.

LIFE SAVER

He had an accident Saturday. He will be okay... after some road rash, a bruised lung and four broken ribs heal.

He also got a bruise on his brain. After two CT scans, we've been given the okay from the Nuero Surgeon that he is clear. If he hadn't have been wearing his brain bucket... I would've been planning a funeral.

We love riding our bikes and we always wear helmets. I'm so thankful we feel strongly about this. All I've got to say... is it saved his life.

It's your fun and your life... you decide.

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE KISS

2011-05-06T05:30:00.000-05:00

THE KISS

A tough looking group of bikers were riding, when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked, "Well... before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So... she does. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."

PIC OF THE WEEK - KYLE IVES... SPHERE RIDIN' AT THUNDER BEACH

2011-05-02T05:30:00.002-05:00

KYLE IVES... SPHERE RIDIN' AT THUNDER BEACH
Kyle Ives, stunt rider holds the spectators attention while he rides his bike within that sphere... like a rat in a wheel. I got dizzy just watching him!

Harley and I had a great weekend during Thunder Beach. I hope to share more... stay tuned.

Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

LADY R DOES HER... ABCD's

2011-05-01T17:00:00.000-05:00

My entry for Gary France's ABCD Contest...

Sunday, May 1st around 1:00 P.M.
Here I am, riding the centerline on CR 59, in Houston County, back in my sweet home... Alabama.

Harley and I were riding home after a great weekend with some wonderful pals at the Thunder Beach Rally down in Panama City Beach. Knowing about our little contest, when we got back across the state line, he offered to ride ahead of me and take my picture.

I thought it was a great idea, cause there I was, doing what I like to do... riding my Glide.

Good luck to everybody... May the best photo win!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - WHY I'M NOW GETTING A DIVORICE

2011-04-29T05:30:00.001-05:00

Why I'm Now Getting A Divorce...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday".

I thought well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss, Rick, said, "Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Rick knocked on my door and said, "You know... it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch. Just you and me."

I said, "Thanks Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch.

But... we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office Rick said, "You know... it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go straight back to the office right away, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

He said, "Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, "If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok", I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my husband, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

I'M STILL HERE!

2011-04-28T15:24:00.016-05:00

In case any of you have seen news of our devastating tornadoes that hit the south yesterday, I just wanted to say, I am still here. Fortunately, Montgomery was far enough south, that all we experienced was some hard rain and wind.

I'm saddened, though, that I have many fellow Alabamians who are not so lucky.

(pic from the web)
Devastating Southern storms kill more than 250 - WSFA 12 News Montgomery, AL |

Please keep our unfortunate storm victims and their families in your thoughts and prayers... they will be needed.

On a good note, the bad weather has moved out it promises to be a glorious weekend. I'm on my way to Florida in the morning... Thunder Beach calls me.

Ride on!

Lady R

THUNDER BEACH SPRING RALLY

2011-04-26T15:30:00.001-05:00

Time to load up and head south for the Spring Thunder Beach Rally at my home away from home, Panama City Beach, Florida.

Click on the icon above for the official Thunder Beach Productions web page, where you'll find all the information you need to plan your stay and see what's happening.

(pics copied from the web)

I also wanted to remind all of you who find yourself in the area... don't forget to grab some of the best damn pizza in the pan handle. Marco's Pizza at 7010 Thomas Drive... but don't tell them Lady R sent you or they'll charge you double! lol!

Come on down for some great fun and remember the Thunder Beach motto... "The most biker friendly free rally in the US!"

Let's ride and party hard!!

Lady R

PIC OF THE WEEK - CURVES

2011-04-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

WHAT DID ONE GLIDE SAY TO THE OTHER GLIDE?
"Let's go curvy!"BTW... what's your favorite sign?
I hope you all had a very nice Easter weekend. Have a great week everybody!

Lady R

SORRY KIDDOS... EASTER HAS BEEN CANCELED

2011-04-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

What a tragedy this has turned out to be. How are we going to explain this to all the children!

(photo copied from twitpics)

Oh well... Happy Easter! Next time he'll look both ways!

Lady R

FRIDAY FUNNY - THE SPOON

2011-04-22T06:00:00.001-05:00

THE SPOON

(A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.)

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place', and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, "Why the spoon?"

"Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Anderson Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he said. I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-now-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how to you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."